Moonlit Morn

A shorter poem I finished tonight.

Leather brethren of the dark; I have only half a heart

Embers severed from the bark, weather-beaten limericks bathed in sparks

Bent over bowing shouldered arch, while corroded soldiers march

Corpses sorrow beholder’s mark, unsettled devil rebels hark

Elbows ebony elevator deep, shadows reap the damp disease

Rabbles weep the crescendo’s creep, depravity ravages me

I cannot sleep amidst the pain, the clouded mind gives no free rain

I am only half as sane, for in the mornings light of day

Hides the horrors I haven’t slain, lain amidst the path I took

Wrote a book of babbling brooks

Hope and took the knight for rook

And stood and made my castle here

Made of words I used to fear

Things that couldn’t pierce my heart

Strings that twist the bits apart

Ventriloquist to world of mannequins

Abaddon of Vaticans, ransoming the tragedies

I will not die for human sake, asleep at night I will awake

To a dream that staked to brake my psalms

For slaves of swansongs always carry on

The backs of twisted minds who’ve gone

Past this point and back beyond

Not my choice to trust in God

For my path’s been thrust upon

Born from wrath of suffering strong

Pathogens of pus and blood

To be the tears that stem the flood

Before my river turns to mud

And the wonderers thunder strung in thuds

And my heart is just a dud, yet puppets know from whence they come

Scream my words and lose a lung, then the final prayer is done

Spare the ones who hurt me so, for this faith I loved to loath

Cherish solace in your voice, choruses volatile, coarse

Scorning roses for their thorns, the withered flower petals we have worn

And before the light turns into void, forget the midnight sun and brave the moonlit morn

Author's Note

I promise I read every single review, and I generally will reply to them. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be happy to hear anything you feel needs sharing. Whenever you write on my shortcomings or breakthroughs, or the themes of my poems, or share ideas and friendly criticism, it decides my next poem to an extent. I will listen, learn and be thankful. And 99% of the time, you'll get a reply unless you're trolling me.

Reviews

[Pete]

this is one of my favorites of yours. is more concise and compact with your usual impressively crafted wording and imagery. the opening line reaches out and grabs the reader by throat, never letting go. grat flow and rhythm from start to finish. rapid-fire feelings and imagery bombarding the reader. great closing line too! good stuff says i ... :)

[wordman]

the universal soldier,mystic and yet realistic

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you!

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Davidgeo]

"leather brethren…."... that's a really good way to open.

This is one of your better poems. Efficiently constructed for the most part with a good bit of universal emotion. I think a lot of people will be able to identify with this on some level or another. I particularly liked the closing; contrasting the state of the sun and the moon (midnight sun/moonlit morn) is quite clever.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thanks, always happy to share my writing. I enjoy the process, and the critiques.

[barleygirl]

I love this poem. I was physically moved as I read it. I actually stomped my feet becuz your word choices are so incredible . . . your words move me on a level that bypasses my brain . . . it isn't what I think about when I read this poem . . . it's just that the words excite me & make me want to squeal out loud. I swear this one moved me this way, more than any other of yours. The first half, especially, becuz it's more nature-oriented & I'm an outdoor person. Since my first love is rhyme & rhythm, that's another reason this poem really rocked me out. I listen to rock-n-roll full blast when I write, so I am fully physically moved & connected to the feeling of rhythm, which pops in this poem, along with your understated & unstructured rhyme (I've often wanted to do unstructured rhyme, but I'm just too deep-down regimented, after 30+ years of technical writing!) Anyhow, awesome bodily experience, thank you very much! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm glad the poem was felt whole heartedly by you. I felt like I'd keep the lines simple yet full of passion, and power. Sometimes I feel simply words can achieve that more than the bigger more complex lines. I wanted to see what I could do with a more classical style. I'm so motivated by your words! I promise there will be far more writing soon. I have some time off from school right now, so believe me when I say I'm going to take advantage of that time as best as I can. More poetry to come! So happy you enjoyed it. :)