Regret

I'm ill at the moment, so I didn't go on a rhyming spree like I often do. Haven't the energy. I'll be back on my feet soon. You may like that or dislike it, but I'm still proud of what I accomplished.

It just takes a few years to break the undamaged

I sometimes walk through the apocalypse with a fire in my head, as the gears greased with pain and insanity twist and ricochet

The very clockwork rewinding timespans, ransomed, I see what my life could have been like

I tied the knot with someone who left me hanging

I was damned by the cruellest two faces of humanity, put on a leash, strung along

I coined the term loony, there are two sides to every story, if I lose my mind, I’m going to flip

The octaves of Gregorian chants phantasmagoric locusts

My hollow head is full of tales, relinquished of my 50/50, I don’t have a chance

Stitch the wilderness of my flesh into flowers to decorate the grave of chivalry

It just takes a few years to change the undamaged

Diamonds shatter like glasshouses, and I don’t throw stones, I shoot lead

This is my shot, I missed the past, but it’s my target, I have a beef with bullseyes, belladonna

It manufactured a machine in the shadow of man, the true demon is a human being

I’m heavy with the debt of blood, but my veins have paid with interest

Sometimes the mistress of the night reminds me my grim sights will be reaped by scythe

Death is a mechanism, programmed, triggered, and installed in my molecules, you don’t know the full scope, my words an orphanage of thoughts that have no home or father

Cold hearts are conditioned by airheads that need to cool their jets, so fly that I’m freefalling

Can’t even land a punch anymore, I usually just roll with them, and totalled my autobody like roadkill

I needed a hand, but this fist is clamping my sanity and I’m choking on these feelings, because the truth is hard to swallow

I’ve taken so many hits that I’m high on my halflife, smoked out by those who fire falsehoods, smothering the embers of solace

It just takes a few years to shape the undamaged, unwholesome

When I was a free man again, Armageddon was my prosthetic, freedom to walk my hell alone

My heart burns with the beat of feet, as I follow the path to enlightenment

I follow and focus only pacifism, barefoot with blisters, people are to afraid to walk in my shoes, but I will never heel

And while my world is stocked by others through nightshade, the planeswalkers chase my coattails, I’m ill,-suited to the noise

The sound of whispered ellipsis, the silence of my hatred like a still frame picture of what could have been

Before the flesh became a gateway to pain, and when one door closes, another opens, the corridors of my soul are being renovated, the crawlspace is Salem

Locked away from me now, I see what could have been

Each key these shackled fingers play opens with a new note, a death letter

That what was but a baby is now old news, passing with the breeze

And I have burned my eulogy, my nightmares simply so the warmth of the tendrils of fire

Can consume my shattered amethyst, and remould the dystopia into a place where the blues harmony dichotomy of water and sky envelopes, the darkest colour the brightest love

Where the undamaged can rest, before playing the next bar in a song we didn’t orchestrate, a swansong for those who's voices

Are only ever listened to, when their role is only the instrumentation, of silence

After a long night of encores, we endeavour to relinquish our performance to the frontier of the moment

But it will take just a few years to recreate the undamaged

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Lyanth]

I like it, it's refreshing, easier to read. Sometimes you need to change things up a bit. I can relate to your words, and I think sometimes, things broken can never be 100% fixed, but maybe that's the beauty of experience..

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Yes, I noticed you pondered this quite a bit with one of your poems. I think it's a poem I'll take a look at again and let you know what I think there. I'm glad this is easier to read, thanks for the review!

[augustus]

Wow! That is one hell of an animalistic view of one's mind. Abstract writing is a gift that I couldn't possibly match. My compliments to you for coping whilst unwell!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm always happy to share my friend!

[barleygirl]

As an avid rhymer myself, I've been asked to consider NOT rhyming sometimes. I think NOT rhyming looks good on you. Maybe refreshing. You've crafted some killer phrases thru-out this poem, which is what I was focused on while reading, more than overall msg (I'm not good at interpreting abstract writing) . . . "grim sights will be reaped by scythe" . . . "Cold hearts are conditioned by airheads that need to cool their jets" . . . and my favorite, the first line of every stanza. As a survivor of extensive child abuse, I can say that even the undamaged parts are touched & so they transform, etc. Regret itself changes us. As an older person, it's easy to get caught up in regret, looking back at one's shitload of dumb choices & subsequent suffering. Your poem starts out more comprehensible to me, but then the last stanza felt like things were spinning more out into space where I could not understand your meaning. To me, your final frenzy represents how even the undamaged is impacted eventually (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm really happy that this poem means something to you, I've been trying to use double meanings. Such as: "I tied the knot with someone who left me hanging" is a reference to slipknots, and being left to die. Another is: "I follow and focus only pacifism, barefoot with blisters, people are paid to walk in my shoes, but I will never heel" Heel has two meanings, the text book definition is "a dog that walks behind its owner" and "the back part of the human foot" But I also used it as the word "heal" A three way meaning. There are around a dozen times I've done this in the poem, but the fun of writing these double or triple meanings is seeing how others will interpret them. My childhood was rough, but the whole poem has several meanings. The idea is that each person who reads it will see it differently. I have a long way to go to acquire more of this form of writing in my works, but keep a lookout for more like these. I will be hiding them in other poems in the future! Thank you for the review, and the love you have shown my poem. I promise more to come.

[barleygirl]

Your "barefoot with blisters" passage did stand out to me upon first reading. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain things, since I'm not that dialed in. I do enjoy double & triple meanings, but I'm not always astute enuf to catch them. Some poets have a set way that they "mean" their work to be read & don't invite different interpretations. I am of the set who loves it when a reader shows me something I never saw in one of my poems. Your poem easily invites people to take off in whatever direction the spirits pull you! *smile*

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I think you're the only one who noticed the double & triple meanings. I think you're very astute! I'm happy I got to share this work with you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, and sharing your friendly compliments. You honestly made my day.

[barleygirl]

My pleasure!

[.]

Hey! This is a nice poem. I would like to go by what weakfreak said, a little messy in between maybe because of disorganisation.
I don't find anything wrong with meanings, they are all fine.
I think you need to look into the second part.
Otherwise I love the rest of the part, the imagery is nice and I'd suggest you to use other literary devices too. I am sure you can do better using different kinds.
Don't worry so much, you've done great like you always do.😉
Keep it up! And get well soon.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'll try to make my next work less messy. Thank you for your feedback, I'll remember for the next poems!

[.]

Oh no, please don't take it like that, I didn't mean that the whole poem was messy, only a little part. It doesn't means that that the poem doesn't means anything to me, it actually means a lot to me. Since I know you a little, and since I can relate me to these words. I hope I didn't upset you. You don't have to bring changes because of your readers, that's your decision and your choice what you do for your readers.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

You never upset you MC. Don't worry, I understand you are trying to help me become a better writer. I should be thanking you, reviews from other writers like you help me learn. I know that you enjoyed the poem, but anyone, even the best of us can improve, so your honesty helps me be a better poet. If there is something I should change, you letting me know will be a big help. Thank you!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I meant to say you never upset me. Sorry, spelling error.

[Ghost writer]

I think that was very poetic, maybe a little messy, disorganized, but not bad. I'm sorry your not well and hope you start feeling better real soon.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Can you explain the messy parts and how to fix them? I’ll try to patch up any bits you think need changing. Thank you for the review and the honesty!

[Ghost writer]

Well, it just seemed, mostly more disorganized, like some things that you said would have gone better or fit better in a different area of the poem where you were talking about a similar thing. It's not even necessarily bad when poems do that, it can just make it harder to follow.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Alright, I'll keep that in mind when I next write.