The Next Sunrise

Pain comes before solace. Only through sacrifice and pain can we possibly become something better.

Sword of the damned

World of the dead

Flesh that’s been breed

Merely for death

A lullaby before bed

A last cold breath of the dust of what we kept that molests our very souls

That will leave nothing left

Paying the world what we stole

Erasing the defacing of nature by human nations of old

Folding under the weight of the hate

Forgotten, making way for another day

So dig your grave with a bloodied blade

Put on your aftershave made with the shards of the broken mirror

Preparing with your peers for the last of days is near, spoken fear

Kill what’s dear

The end is near

So grab a beer

And watch the people cry and cheer from your porch as you’re torched by the world forced to its knees

Laugh at the others as their consumed uttering something before nothing

One final disease a second of suffering as they scream under the meteor shower that will clean the cowards

With the soap of their fat

And the water of their blood

The bones of their bodies

The remains in the lobby

Their pride and their money

Sent to wallow through their sorrow hungry, hell’s hobby

A throbbing red abandoned sky sick of their lies

Burning wide, with all-seeing eyes watching

Experiencing our final demise as it tries to care for a people so fair that they destroyed the earth they refused to share

Aware of the blood in the air

The sound of silence before the next sunrise, watching us all die

Wise to a kind that was so high off their hate that they ate it off silver plates

Breaking the weak

Suffocating those that speak

Through murder and rape

Hunger and saints

Greed that we breed

Religions that state that this is ok

Planting a seed, an excuse so fake

We’re heavy with weight so great that we created our hell

The horizon sees is no escape

An empire fell

Embracing humanities fate, every death, every yell

Robbing and turning the people yearning for release silent

Time waiting, as the worlds fading for one last act of violence

Shading us in darkness, no longer burning vibrant

God turns his back on toys that were heartless

Caving in on the crust of the earth, carving away the idea of self-worth

Degrading everything

Every hurt eradicated with the apathetic patience of a force with no relationship

No love, no understanding for humanity

Ending the calamity we brought on ourselves

The world yells one last time in just a moment of insanity

Leaving hell the bones

And what’s left of the meat

Creating solace for a dead race, justice

A monster’s defeat, a rightful sunset before the darkness is put to bed

A final peace waiting for the next sunrise to be shed

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[.]

I am sorry to say, but this time, I feel there's something missing here... and it's only you who can find it out. This poem cannot be compared with the ones you have written before. You have a far better standard of writing. You had a good theme but couldn't execute in the right way.
Otherwise the story that it narrates is good.
I am sure it's not a final one...I believe you will make it better soon... GOOD LUCK!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

You're right, it's lacking. I'll make a second copy, and it will be better.

[.]

Best wishes from me.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thanks my friend!

[Davidgeo]

Your writing would benefit if you were a little more economical with your words. Some of the longer drawn out lines read more like fragmented prose than poetry. It's kind of jarring and not very pleasant to read from a style perspective.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm going to recreate it better. I hope you'll be willing to read the corrected version and tell me if it still needs work when I'm done. Could take a while though, busy with college.

[Davidgeo]

It's not a bad poem beyond the things I mentioned. Don't change the essence of it too much.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Ok, I'll try to make it into a great poem. This time, I hope I blow your socks off. Maybe I won't, but I'll try.

[Davidgeo]

The best way to write something good is to write it to blow your own socks off. It's easier to be more original that way, which is actually a whole lot harder than it seems for almost every single thing we do even beyond writing.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

You're really good at providing advice honestly. Thank you.

[Davidgeo]

Not as good as you'd think, there just isn't a lot of honest feedback being given here to compare me to. Unfortunately the majority of users on this site think it's mean or "trolling" or "bullying" to leave reviews that are critical of anything. I've even gotten nasty messages just from correcting grammar. There is a very real problem with virtue signaling, group-think and disingenuous glad handing on this site.

[Riddhi]

I really liked your ideas and whole concept behind this poem..the way you used your words was quite interesting but somewhere i do feel that the way you presented the entire poem seemed quite clumsy to me...You used interesting words but as a writer you need to understand that just writing a poem full of irony and you know full of beautiful words is not enough ..the format of your poem seemed more like an essay than a poem to me..There were no paras..You just wrote and wrote without any pause..You know when a reader reads something you need to attract his entire attentions towards your writing..I wished it had some paras so that it would have appeared systematic..Inspite of your strong thoughts and language your poem failed to do that..If you would have divided it into paras then it would have seemed more systematic and interesting..You know what i felt as i started reading it that the language was perfect enough to express your idea but after a certain point your poem seemed endless to me because of lack of the way you presented it because of lack of pauses you should have taken.. It lacked that flow that a poem should have ...I wish that you take my review positively and next time i want to see improvement in the things that i have suggested..
Keep on writing and thanks for sharing..
Riddhi

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Your absolutely right. I will come back to this with a better rendition of it. Thank you so much for your insight.

[wordman]

ironic but we are here to live and die,wonder if ppl will be ready when the s**t hits the fan

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I don't think we'll ever be ready, do to our never ending greed.