Here to stay, but never meant to belong

A poem that starts sad and then picks up. Mainly because I was sad when I started writing it, but when I got to the next bits, I was in a much better mood. Kind of strange how that happens.

I’m here to stay but I never said I was ever meant to belong, stay strong, hold on longer, I’m an irresponsible first responder to the pain the trauma the haunting wanting to prove to the people that my feelings are real and don’t crumble to dust and rust in life’s concert, but I’m a human being no matter what it seems, I’m not just a monster

I’ll waste away keeping my demons at bay and slay the memories with a grenade I pray I demand tomorrow, but I settle for today, I have the metal to stay until the colour drains, my life fades under the grey slate of fate the hate of yesterday, living giving my all until the moment I fall until the end of my days are gone, and reality is hidden away, and the honours been repaid

But bonds live on forever, never forget the semblance, honour their hearts' presence with remembrance and some devilish menacing semblance of love because we cannot thank them enough

You cannot sever the love letters, like a hard hitter, a life liver, a spite giver with a slightly raised middle finger, that couldn’t give f**k flinger, a hell bringer winging it cause I’m killing when I’m feeling it

Chilling when I’m willing just admit your defeat,  I send words to my betters heard in heaven my brethren I will remember them every year, every December in reverence for the prevalent non-malevolence evidence that there is provident heaviness but there is still hope, so swallow your sorrow, no tears, I hope you don’t choke

Whether your words are lighter than a feather or heavy as a rock

Whether they’re sharp as a machete or ready to write hard and steady talk, share your words around the block

The clock is ticking, don’t be a chicken, get in the thick and, start spitting sickness through the wicked thicket and witness the fitness of the spirit, hear it, revere it, but never fear it, see it, be it, but never mistreat it

Chilling the competition your nothing but an omission cheating on your sheet and about to get a beating and an F

It’s my mission to condition and correct the circumcision that’s driven you to drive me through with delicious articulate artistic precision so envision your ambiguous religious rigorous vigilance onto the paper to take a stance a fighting chance before your crushed under the words murdering the music

I'm here to stay but never meant to belong, gone on long enough to consider myself tough , strong in this rough and tumble world, rumbling and stumbling in the field of reality and insanity, wondering what's real the words or the madness I feel, reason and breathing in the dreams of humanity through my mind's third eye, waiting for my demise I sign and undermine my poetry, it owns me, the only person that truly knows me, smiles like a suicidal bridal wearing tidal wave, leaving me fazed, as I'm drowning in a brain maze, in the face of a race of half finished works, amazed, that poetry can be so loving but still a jerk

I’m used to it, if your new to it, get through to it and take a one-way ticket from your mind to your heart then start back

Beating through your veins like ink stains imprint your name on the rhyme and change the beat, then take a seat

And listen to the elites learn from them and become undefeated with burning lyrics like sulfuric acid write massive word curb stomps until you feel like you’ve been heard through the static eradicating the beat, defeating rhythm with every word given

Dance around and embrace pain, poetry is emotion, but don’t go loko just stay vocal in the ocean of words the lay of the land until you’re playing the aces in your hand with the man who brushed away your plans like ants in the wind, you cannot even begin to see the indefinite plethora of the best of the poetic verse I rehearse better than words

Music, kinetic, but without words, it’s pathetic, epileptic inception just another burn, a word infection a fine addition to my collection, everything else unless, just try to refuse the news of your true view, poetry can leave you moved and some may be the best you’ve ever heard

But you can always get better, just remember to let er’ rip and dip and dive into the skyline of poetry rhymes, nothing else you define can be quite so sublime

And if you could be so kind keep the poetry flowing, out in the open, hoping because the hose is leaking, and people are freaking out, speaking spraying praying bloody mayhem until we’re all soaking in the spoken token of broken words merged together with letters of ink and paper acres of barrier-breaking elated makers of words, so high, we're crafters of the rafters of the roof, holding it up with poetry ink paper mache proof sentences of self centred poetic fenders that even the rain remembers not to sever the words 

Put together whenever better in a way you can never disassemble making you tremble to the beat, you’ll turn into a poetry geek

Don’t care what your smoking, serious or joking poetry is spoken word for real, if you want to understand the rhymes just hear em, so many different shifting uplifting gifted lyrics

Take in the gifts of the present, the spirit, hear it like an equation of amazement, word plus rhyme equals heaven, and give in to the rhythm and the emotions that feel, understand the calamity, embrace insanity see past what’s real

I’m here to stay but never meant to belong, but I'm still here, the beat goes on, until the day that I'm gone, I'll keep on rhyming with perfect timing until the last words passed, until the very moment I'm frozen and these bones turn to ash

Author's Note

The poems name is taken from two of my favourite songs by Shirō Sagisu. The names of the songs are "Here to stay" and "Never Meant to Belong" The first is beautiful like solace, will the second is sad. This poem starts out like the second song, and ends with the first. You could say I made this poem to fit those songs, but somehow get them flipped inside-out. Enjoy!

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I liked this one..Actually every line touched my heart and i felt it..And yes this is different from what you usually write..Keep on writing ..
Riddhi

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thanks for the review, I don't always respond, but I've read every review you've given for my poems, I appreciate your insight into how to improve my poems. Means a lot to me!

[Riddhi]

I am really happy that you take my reviews in a positive manner ....

[boygene borice]

this is amazing. I love the flow of words.

[.]

This is a different one! I love it!... There is a glance of your optimistic attitude that is reflected in this poem. This poem deserves a great "WOW".
I am glad you share your poems with us. ...Good Luck! for the next poem that you are going to write.

[NEHA]

Well written..
#Claps
For Sylvia Plath II

[wordman]

well i`m glad you feel better,it shows in your writing