Forget It

A part 2 to my poem "Forgiven" but with love and forgiveness rather than hate.

I’m fighting my demons but I feel like I’m dreaming

It’s seeming like being accepted has given me new power and freedom

I’m leaning on people that I never thought I would

Dealing with problems that I never thought I should

Could be just my optimism but I think this is gonna be good

Folding my life in half I feel like it’s harder to be torn apart

There’s art to the strength it took to get this far

Shooting stars wish to end up in a better place

If I wasn’t burned up in the atmosphere then I couldn’t have faced adversity

Even if it hurts to be me, I still see a point in living, and I’m learning

Yearning to get better, ready for the next time a shredder tries to tear my life apart

Even if there are some people who I hate, the ones that apologized will be forgiven

 

I’ve forgotten what it means to be under the weight of 5 years of hate

Fate has turned over a new leaf

No more beef over thieves that have stolen things that I’ve replaced

I have everything I ever had again, no need to be angry when from shackles I’m freed

Planting the seed of a new generation after me

I’ll watch it grow, through sunshine and snow, through the rain and the cold

And by the time I’m old someone else will know what I went through and no one will have to go through it again

Men and women, family and friends, enemies, rivals, love and forgiveness is the key to survival

 

I’m still fighting my demons, even if I’m a free man, I believe I needed to be locked away to realize the life I believe in

Never give up, believing in love, even when life shatters, and your spirit falls, never stop forgiving it all

Forget it and stay strong

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Jackie]

Beautiful rendition.. And positiv outlook. I enjoyed it

[wordman]

i guess we never really forget,just post pone

[Bear]

Self-analysis is a dangerous practice because few people can stand in their own shoes and truly see themselves. But do so in a poem and a world of insight and enlightenment can be achieved. This is a great writing exercise it show cases your intellect, your imagination and writing skills. Masterfully done my Canadian friend Standing Ovation! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[k]

This might get a little long-winded, so bear with me and I apologize in advance. (okay that's a lie I'm really not sorry.)

I'll start off by saying I think you have a really strong base. I can tell that you have a clear idea of what emotion you want to convey with your words and you know what message you want the reader to take away, which is great. I do think you have a decent amount of revision to do before this could be classed as a finished product, though.

The first thing I think you should think about is something that I've been repeating in a lot of poetry reviews on this site, and that's punctuation. I'm a firm believer that commas and periods are just as important in poetry as they are in prose, if not more so. You want the reader to feel the rhythm that you've created, not steam roll through the whole poem at full speed (as people tend to do when there is no punctuation to stop them). Don't just throw commas and periods in wherever you feel like it, try to keep things grammatically correct so as not to distract and really think about the placement of your punctuation. In a poem, everything should be deliberate and nothing should be flippantly done.

I also think you need to spend some time thinking about your figurative language here. Your poem is rich with it, which is great, but some of it doesn't seem like it had that much thought put into it but it was just slapped into the poem. I'm not judging you at all, I'm guilty of the same pretty frequently. When you create a metaphor for your poem, you should consider the following:
What does this metaphor highlight?
What does it hide?
Who or what is being empowered?
Who or what is being dis-empowered?
If that is confusing or you have questions about it, feel free to message me or reply to this and ask for clarification. If you consider these things when constructing a metaphor, you'll be a much stronger writer and your piece will be a lot stronger as a result. But if you don't know the answer to those questions for every single metaphor in your piece, the reader isn't going to know either.

Oh man, this really is long-winded. I'll leave on a positive note: You have really strong work here and I hope you'll revise it to make it even stronger. I hope this review has been helpful!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So very powerful, positive and inspiring my friend. Sounds like a real breakthrough for you. Beautifully written with stellar insight...I applaud you! Blessings.

[Najam Us Saher]

This is what I wanted to read from a long time. I needed motivation, a belief and hope that everything will be all right. Fighting with inner thoughts kills and it takes courage to win the battle.
This poem is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. It feels good to see you happy :)