I See You Smile

This isn't a happy poem, just so you know before you click on it. Remember, smiles can be false.

I see you smile

But all the while I’m crying on the inside

It’s not my style to open up

I still feel defiled by people I couldn’t trust

 

I tell myself I must be crazy

Some people call me lazy because I never leave my house

People laugh because they know I’ll never have an intimate relationship

But I’m done

It’s been fun

But I’ve had enough of your s**t

I’m going to quit listening to it

I won’t share if you don’t care one bit

I’ve bitten the skin from my tongue bleeding out angry words from my lungs

I’m done, but unlike you, I can’t go home to someone

I can’t trust anyone

I can’t even cry

Because then that means I’ve lost

And you’ve made your point

Because no one wants to listen to the words of a target, so forget it

I carry on writing with tears in my eyes

While I fear the idea that family can die and I’ll be left alone forever

Because I’ve been lucky too, but I never played my cards like you do

My hands shake all time, it’s hard holding a deck of jokers

You never knew about my life’s rhymes, how good turned to bad on the flip of a dime

I’ve felt pain too, but sharing that’s a crime

 

I see you smile, and all the while I know it’s a lie

Because you’ve made it clear

You’d rather watch me die

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Maria]

Well, this totally was not the twist I thought I would find. Seeing the title, I thought awe how sweet, he or she is in love with someone and will be talking about how seeing that person smile at them ,makes them feel.
And I start reading and hear the words crying and tears, and am like oh now, what did this person do to you,. So the plot in itself took me by surprise and even if it had a melancholy touch to it, I could see, an image of one smiling while the other, on the inside shudders trying to hold back tears. Loved this in spite of it being totally opposite to what I was expecting, well done in the layout and rhythm you chose as well.