Broken Road

It's been rough at times, but I've written yet another poem about what's been going on in my life

I walk alone

On a broken road

I keep up the pace

I do what I’m told

I race

Through my time here

Knowing someday I’ll grow old

And unfold the pages of my life

 

Looking back at the faded pictures

Mixtures of memories, pain, happiness, and understanding

 

I don’t think I’ll ever have a wife

I’m asexual and I fear intimate relationships

But I like to think that someday I’ll be happy

This kind of thinking may seem sappy

But it means a lot to me

It is the optimistic behavior my doctors would like to see

And the person I need to be

For myself and to feel free

 

I want to slip into a string of good days like a favourite pair of pants

Comfortable

But some day it’s going to be dirtied by my tears, blood, and the muddy broken road

Leaving me naked in a cold sweat, lying on the floor

 

I mine my existence like ore

Looking for gold and diamonds

Prospecting for a better life

Something I can sell for my need to consume happiness

It’s what sustains me

 

Someday I will be better is what I say

Living for today

Writing poems to help me say what I want to say

Frantically, escaping another gray phase

 

Raising myself higher

Climbing over a mountain of stress

So I can caress every moment and person that makes me want to continue living

Pretending I’m winning to keep my parents grinning

White lies aren’t sinning if they ease others souls

 

I burn through whole coals in the flames of my ambition

Using my intuition as a form of nutrition

And writing down everything I find is a tradition

It eventually gets processed into writing

Comes out with no fighting, as easily as breathing air

Lighting up my day with a way to vent without a care

Someday I wish to share my feelings in a book

But look, I’m really doing this for myself

No one else

 

I selfishly keep my broken road for myself

You can’t walk it

I’ll block it off so you never stalk through it

But s**t, if one day I find someone who truly cares, someone, I can trust

I’ll give them the option to walk with me through the mud and the rust

But I warn you, your socks will be soaked, and boots are a must

Once you get through the bitter crust I’m actually quite soft on the inside

I don’t smile wide, but I won’t hide from you if you want to hang out or talk

 

I’d be stoked if I found somebody who cares

I hope I don’t get stares and bad lip behind my back, but it’s only fair

I no longer crack under pressure anyway

 

Because I’m happy with what I have

I’m honestly glad to have a loving family

A cat, some friends, and my poetry

And I owe it to me to continue rhyming until life ripens into a fruit fit enough to bite into

Someday, the muddy, rusted, broken street that I’ve been through will shine like gold

 

I walk alone

On a broken road

I keep up the pace

I do what I’m told

I race

Through my time here

Knowing someday I’ll grow old

And unfold the pages of my life

 

With my poetry

Author's Note

Please enjoy, and any review or criticism is appreciated!

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[wordman]

a relationship would do you good,just start with a casual thing and let it grow if it wants to

[Bear]

What better way to self analyze and self medicate in words? I tell everyone the poetry is my best friend you can tell a best friend anything. You can ease your conscious, confess a weakness or absolve yourself from evil thoughts through poetry. At the same time you can educate, influence and inspire others at the same time. I think all poets lay their soul to bear at different times in their live I know I have written many poems over the years doing so. Not knowing me personally one might not read between the lines and recognize it. Your poem has heart and courage wrapped in emotion and inspiration Bravo! Standing Ovation! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

LIFE'S TRAVELS
Complacent in not my wants or wishes
Though struggle I shall as we all do
Pedestrian I find myself unable to take the easy road
So on the backs of others I will not tread
The lessons in life I learned to bear begrudgingly
By canvassing all but bitter faces on life's pit falls
And not take to heart the tears shed along the way
Or turn from the screams of pain less they be my own
Laughter I shall treat as a long lost friend just found
And loneliness like a cold wind by turning my back to it
I will bleed when cut and dance when consumed with joy
And when I have all life's answers, on me will death be employed

[Najam Us Saher]

Walking down a road and you want no one by your side shows your courage and confidence.