Even If It Breaks A Man

A story of dealing with losing everything, but gaining the mindset to change.

It’s a struggle to live

Don’t know what I did

Don’t know when I gave up

Don’t know where I went wrong

 

So many years ago I lost hope

Taking medication like dope to keep going

Almost hung myself up with rope like a scarecrow

I remember watching from my room as it rained and it snowed

 

But misery has always been my true home

I lived alone on struggle street

A place where no one speaks

Silent sorrow at its peak

Pain falls from the sky onto the backs of people who aren’t wanted

People who have been discarded like broken toys by their old friends

Whose lives some wish to end

Because they had something more before

And now have lost their happiness and reason for living

Betrayed and forgotten by those they cared for

That now consider themselves better and have moved on

 

Hurt by people who reject the truth of pain, like rejecting that the sky rains

And spit on us, watching us rust in the downpour

I feel drenched in sorrow

 

No one on this street shares their stories or their morals

Let alone the ragged remains of their lives

It’s the only thing we can hold onto, and we’re not friends

We’re just stuck here on struggle street

Nothing will change that

 

We carry too much emotional baggage to walk on our own

People fall to the ground every day from the weight of the suffering that falls like rain

Rain that breaks the spirits of the weak

Left there alone to rot in regret without help from anyone on or off this street

 

The misery is excreted from our pores

Sticking to anything with every touch

Ripping off our withered flesh

With such a stench that people look down on us

 

The people gather at my street

More are left here stranded every day

Shells of human beings, filled with defeat

Stuck here with no role

Waiting to be buried in a hole to further the flower gardens of those who broke them

 

We sit on the corner of our street of hopeless depression waiting for a sign

Pretending our lives can be brought back

A w***e to happiness

I cry poetry

And speak in rhymes and riddles

I beg for an ounce of respect

And live on material wants

And special fonts to write my story on

 

The misery gets flushed down the sewage drains until the streets overflow with sadness

Spreading a sickness called madness

That kills off those who cannot accept this life

 

And mixes misery into the minds of those too weak or strong to give up

Those too smart or stupid to shut up

Those who are too sane or crazy to mess up

 

 

The misery leads to anger

An anger that destroys lives

 

A new perspective on the world around them that used to be beautiful

Leaving them to see the ugly truth

People live for themselves

And they’re willing to do anything to better themselves

Locking the remains of those they break in empty shells

Including pushing others down into the ground so hard

That they can’t get back up

Divorcing husbands and wives

Killing children for cheap thrills and cash

Forsaking those in need

They do it for friends, cars, lovers, money, and respect

They do it to make themselves feel better. Superior. Fit to step on others like garbage

Which then leads to more honest souls being crushed

Even if it breaks a man

They do it all the same

 

And when the survivors realize the true

The reason why people caused their trauma

They either forsake everything that ever weighed them down

Or hang themselves from the roof

 

But here I am

Living proof that the street doesn’t have to end there

That anger propelled me into a psychotic episode

That stole away my freedom and my friends

That got me locked up in the mental health ward for almost three years of my life

That brought me back onto the road of recovery

 

 

 

 

The street of misery is a hard road to walk

You have to walk it with the weight of hopelessness and suffering on your back

But even if it can break a man, it can also be your ticket to recovery

You see, dealing with the things I lost made me realize what I hadn’t lost

The ability to try to fix things

And cherish what little you have

To aim for more in the future

When I was hopeful that I could change things, I did

And turned a pile of dirt and regrets into a mountain of memories, a few accomplishments, and a second chance

 

Only by experiencing our pain, misery, and sorrow can we be reminded of happy times, and a future that could contain more happiness

 

Only by losing everything can we truly put a high price on what we’ve gained through pain

 

Only because of the bullying, mental illness, and depression, can I have something to write about

Only because of living through nightmares have I dreamed to support others who are still stuck on that cold, damp street of struggles

Only because of the pain have I learned how to heal my wounds

 Only because I once wanted an apology have I become thankful

Only because I was discarded like trash have I treasured my life

 

Even if it breaks a man, going through painful times and recovering make it easier for the next time

And teach you things you couldn’t know by stepping on others or having an easy life

 

It’s a struggle I’m happy I was given

Author's Note

This is how I feel about my life. I slowly gained more and more, and then I lost everything slowly and had to rebuild. But rebuilding my life made it far stronger than it ever was in my past.



I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[KT-B]

wow what a story...it's amazing what a soul can go through, even hit rock bottom but the will to survive, be happy is so strong it can overcome adversity - this is an uplifting story and maybe you had to go through all of this to help other people - maybe you should write a book to reach others and give them hope - I love your honesty, it's very touching and so many people suffer from mental health issues, I for one am so happy it's being more talked about now than ever before - too many suffer in silence :)