Spark In The Dark

A poem about depression, giving up, and getting back up for more.

Spark In The Dark

 

The darkness inside, eats my emotions until I'm blind

 I whine, I beg, I cry, but it's futile

I try to unwind, the noose from my neck

But it won't be long before I'm a foot off the floor 

Hanging by my spine

 

Looking for something to find with wide open soulless eyes

desperately looking for release 

waiting for my demise I search for a reason to carry on

 

Like how people will miss me when I'm gone

Like how I can correct what went wrong

These reasons lessen the burden on my back 

Giving me a smack in the face that I needed to keep me awake

Reminding me of what's at stake

 

These reasons keep me from falling to the ground

Forgetting and forfeiting the life I found, and giving up

 

But the weight of pain, suffering, and depression

Make it hard to keep walking, it's heavy, and I'm so tired.

It won't be long until I crack

 

Depression comes and goes like the rain

Leaving me to deal with all my transgressions

Like it's my profession until the ground is dry

And my tears have disappeared

 

But I will not give up

I haven't had enough,  and that isn't a bluff

Nothing life can make me can break me

I will not surrender my life to pain

I will continue playing until game over

I'll test my luck like I'm a four leaf clover.

 Darkness clouds my mind, my surroundings, my spirit, my life

But I shine even brighter, in a black sky of pain

A sea of suffering, or a pit of despair

I will leave my mark on this world and never give up

Even in the dark you will see my life spark like a candle

There isn't anything I can't handle

Author's Note

Any reviews are welcome


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: Your sentence structure hinders the reading of your poem. The flow and dramatic impact of its wisdom is less influential and your poem has so much to offer. I would like to offer you an edit restructure for your consideration, if you feel I have over stepped my bounds then I beg your forgiveness: Spark In The Dark

The darkness inside eats my emotions until I'm blind
I whine, I beg, I cry, but it's futile
I try to unwind the noose from my neck
But it won't be long before I'm a foot off the floor
Hanging by my spine

Looking for something to find with wide open soulless eyes
Desperately looking for release
Waiting for my demise search for a reason to carry on

Like how people will miss me when I'm gone
Like how I can correct what went wrong
These reasons lessen the burden on my back
Giving me a smack in the face that I needed to keep me awake
Reminding me of what's at stake

These reasons keep me from falling to the ground
Forgetting and forfeiting the life I found and giving up

But the weight from pain, suffering, and depression
Making it hard to keep walking, it's heavy and I'm so tired
It won't be long until I crack

Depression comes and goes like the rain
Leaving me to deal with all my transgressions
Like it's my profession until the ground is dry
And my tears have disappeared

But I will not give up
I haven't had enough and that isn't a bluff
Nothing in life can make me can break me
I will not surrender my life to pain
I will continue playing until game over
I'll test my luck like I'm a four leaf clover
Darkness clouds my mind, my surroundings, my spirit, my life
But I shine even brighter in a black sky of pain
A sea of suffering or a pit of despair
I will leave my mark on this world and never give up
Even in the dark, you will see my life spark like a candle
There isn't anything I can't handle

Review: A very powerful work of literature with deep emotional and philosophical content. This is the kind of poem that lingers in ones mind and inspires you to give things around you a different look and rethink ones outlook on life, Standing Ovation! Five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm going to get to fixing up this poem soon, your help is greatly appreciated! If I make any poems in the future and you see a way to make them sound a little better while still keeping it original, please share! :D

[wordman]

well you certainly have the right idea of not quitting,and several reasons why,with this on your side,you can conquer

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you wordman! I will do my best.

[Najam Us Saher]

I liked the transition from the beginning to end. Very encouraging and inspiring. I totally liked it ☺

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

thank you! :D

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome ☺