After All This Rain

A poem to stop people from committing suicide. I wrote it for my friend who lost his father as a kid, and now his mother.

After All This Rain

Wallow in your sorrow,

And curse the things you’ve seen

If you kill yourself tomorrow

You’ll never know what could have been

 

Giving up may seem easy when the going’s going tough

And I understand that living in pain is really rough

 

But don’t give up when you don’t know if the future could get better

And remember that before you write your last words on a letter

 

Love is a diamond made glass

Just waiting to be shattered

Life is like cake

Our experiences the batter

 

But don’t go into this s**t half baked man

Because to all the others your life matters

 

And parting with your soul will make us so much sadder

 

So wallow in your sorrow

And forgive life for the pain

Experience time borrowed

Don’t let it drive you insane

Pick up where you left off

I know realities no game

But play it ‘til it’s done

And some day you’ll see the sun

After all this rain

Author's Note

Tell me what you think. I'm always happy to know what people think of my poems, the good and the bad.

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[CK_85]

This poem conflicts with me to the upmost degree. The writing itself is good (save for that one grammatical mistake where you said "going's" [no apostrophe needed]), it's the message that gets me. For one, the first stanza (and the phrase "Wallow in your sorrow") comes across (to me, at least) as making the suicidal person feel bad for being such. Furthermore, the cliché of things getting better is far too overused. And, frankly, in the eyes of a suicidal person, death is a way that they can make it get better. For the fourth stanza, it can even give reason as to why their life sucks. If love is waiting to get shattered, why bother having it/working on it? Would you work on a project just to have it break and cut you up? And, if experiences are the batter to the cake of life, what if you have s****y experiences? That would make a s****y batter, and then a s****y cake (ie a s****y life). Then, you state that a reason to live is for other people. Which, is definitely selfish. People are going to be hurt if somebody is living in constant misery or if they take their own life. The argument is an implied utilitarian one, that people are hurt more if someone is taking their own life. Since misery is impossible to quantitatively measure, a categorical imperative argument would be more suitable (even though it still points to the same thing: don't commit suicide). Then, the question comes up if the ends (not committing suicide) justify the means (the philosophy behind it). Though, I digress. For the final two stanzas, I really don't like that message either. It's essentially saying to continue being miserable, knowing that you will continue to be miserable, until you're no longer miserable. To quote Vivian Greene, "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain." Regardless, despite all these personal philosophy criticisms, I'm still giving this a solid 90/100. It was well written, and the intention was clearly there. And, a lot of people in that place won't have the ability to critically analyze the poem like I just did. So, the ends justify the means. xD

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I understand if you don't think the poem is helpful to those who are suicidal. Truth be told, I'm pretty harsh when it comes to self-help in poetry, even if I don't mean to come across that way. Thank you for the review, someday I'll try again and make a poem that better helps those with depression.

[Tanvi Banjan]

It's pretty great. But you know, to a suicidal person Death isn't the easy way out. It's like..the only way. You see nothing else but that. No possibilities . So maybe if those few lines were put more gently and with thought, this would be a more beautiful poem than it already is. It's great!

[Najam Us Saher]

It is so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing. I like your concern for your friend. I love the entire poem it was beautifully written it touched my heart.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm glad you liked it, thank you for reading and the review!

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome

[Soubhi]

wow! ... it is a really nice poem ... I liked it very much
"But play it ‘til it’s done
And some day you’ll see the sun"
this ending was so nice ... you did motivate me by your writing ... and I won't give up after this
look forward to reading your works
well done and good luck :)

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for the review, it means a lot to me!