As I Lie

Everyone is going to die someday, that is a given.

As I Lie

 

As I lie dying, I stare at the clouds above the trees. I looks like it’s about to rain. I watch as world above me fades to red, and then black. I think back to the times gone by, days when I lived in harmony with the people around me. I remember the times when we laughed, and times when we cried. I think of my parents and sister. I think of how I will never be able to see then again. And as my heart beats for the final time, I feel tears running down my face.

 

As I lie in my coffin, I watch as my family cries openly. A few close friends share some words next to my coffin where my body lies dead, cold as ice. My parents and sister each kiss me on my forehead. My mother’s tears land on my face, trickling down onto the harsh wood below. They lower me into my grave, next to my grandparents. Everyone throws dirt onto my coffin. Then they bury me. I share a tombstone with my loving grandfather and grandmother. I will share a home with them now too.

 

As I lie cold and dead in the ground, my family grows old without me. They visit my grave less and less every year. Without me, my family lives on. My sister gets married to a handsome young man by the name of Michael. They have two children together. I feel sorry that I never got to met them. My parents sell their house to live in a smaller home. They spend the rest of their years together. Eventually they die and are buried next to me. I am happy to share my home with them. My sister grows into an old woman, and her husband and her become divorced. My sister grows old with the comfort of a few friends and her children. Eventually she dies too. She is buried deep in the ground, with me, mommy and daddy, and our grandparents. We are a happy family once more.

 

As I lie, buried underneath an old tombstone that is so worn it is unreadable, my body rotted away to nothing more than a few bones and scrapes of flesh, I watch as the cold and bitter winter snow covers all traces of my existence. Around me in the graveyard are hundreds of others, but I have never felt more alone. I crumble away to nothing more than dust. Like so many others before me, time has left me behind. No one is alive to remember me. No one will say my name or think of me again. I am forgotten.

Author's Note

If you don't like a depressing poem, then don't read this. But don't worry, this isn't so depressing it will make you cry. I think you can handle it.


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Jamie]

I love depressing poetry, stories, movies.. anything. This is well-written. I like how you went through the stages of "life in death": death, burial, a would-be life span, and the eternity spent afterward. The character was always with his family [assuming male pronouns for simplicity]. He followed them as they grew older and eventually were all buried beside him as he was prematurely beside his grandparents.

His sister grew up, got married, had children, and died with her friends a kids after a divorce. His parents grew old and died together, happy.

When they return to him, they "are a happy family once more". They're together as they had been in life, even if many years later, even if he had gone long before they had.

And yet... he's still so alone. He feels forgotten. He sees that he's merely a blip of life in an endless timeline. "...old tombstone...it is unreadable...", "...nothing more than bones and a few scraps of flesh...", "...bitter winter snow cover all traces of my existence...", "...crumble away to... dust".

"Time has left me behind; no one to remember me; I am forgotten."

This is INCREDIBLY powerful. It is indeed a reflection of human life and how short it is, how little time we have on his earth; how we are forgotten not so long after we are gone. We have one life to live, and one life only. You have have to do with it what you can.

And, my friend, with the right words, any piece can bring a person, with the right life experience, to tears. When you can write something powerful like this, you can elect and emotional response.

I would say: watch your proof-reading. Make sure you catch spelling errors. I assume in "scrapes of flesh", you meant scraps. Maybe check word choice a bit. There are a few things I could have done differently; however, we all have different voices, and age/experience will change writing.

All around excellent piece, my friend.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I know this is really late, but thank you for the review. You understood this poem completely.

[boygene borice]

This is waht the fate of death is. Death steals a lot from us. It takes away our championship, our popularity and eventually, we stop exisiting in the world once we down six feet. But what can you when you are dead? Can the dead speak for themselves?
I love your work

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I agree. Everything life gives death steals.

[Najam Us Saher]

It's it an eternal truth that we all have to die one day. You have narrated the life cycle in a very heart touching way. I also think sometimes that when I die how badly my family will miss me then how will they live and all. It eventually makes me cry I was shocked to read that you feel the same. I loved this poem. It was relatable with very strong emotions. Loved it.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Yeah, I think lots of people feel this way. Death is a subject that is soaked in depression.

[Najam Us Saher]

Yes you are right.