Did Anybody Tell Her

I fell in love with you.

I allowed my heart to relish in you.

Your trap was set right on cue.

Your kiss was acute, and my lust

was enveloped in your false truth.

Did any tell her?

Did many smell her?

Did anybody hurt her?

Sadness forever within me.

My immunity was sacred you see,

But it was lights out when she

Stared me down.

More like dynamite.

And now my pleasure is empty.

Did any tell her?

Did many smell he?

Did anybody hurt her?

Vengeance for this slave.

Now, to resist,

I'm locked in a cage.

But still she persist, like a

bandit with a death-wish,

the taste for the flesh is

just another written page.

Did any tell her?

Did many smell her?

Did anybody hurt her?

Baby I'm not a failure.

Baby I'm not a seller.

Baby I'm not a teller.

I want to be all you need,

all you need,

all you need.

Reviews

[Sara Mercury]

Sounds like a song. These are the kind of poems that can mean different things to different people, which I think is pretty cool!

Have you ever considered setting this to music and creating a song out of it? It has its own chorus already...

Just a thought. ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

Outstanding use of words my friend.
"Baby I'm not a failure.
Baby I'm not a seller.
Baby I'm not a teller.
I want to be all you need,
all you need,
all you need."
I liked the above lines and thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.
Coyote

[NicolinaJade]

Really nice flow and very passionate.Beautifully written.

[Shineheemi]

unseen feelings. cant find the right words.... salutes you!.

[Alexa Nichols]

I LOVED this, but I'm not sure I understand what you meant when you wrote: "Did many smell her?" What is that line supposed to mean, exactly?

[annalysiar]

I appreciate this
That was a nice repatriation at the end as well
Great write

[Dianne S Penfold]

I like the repetition for emphasis. This has a very raw quality to it. It brings across the emotions nicely.

[Onlyme]

Raw, deep and passionate, heartfelt and open. Letting anyone into your heart. Does take courage. But when they don't reciprocate back it hurts like hell.

[Rebecca Hope Rouston]

I've felt this way before, and honestly this is well written. I could almost picture it as a song. And I would absolutely listen to it!

[Robert Trakofler]

nice and raw, nice flow, nice cadence awesome sentiment! Your street sense is a dominant factor in your writing style and is one of a fighter and you belie this in your willingness to be open and true to yourself in your write.... a rare quality to BE, what you expect from others! and at the same time open your heart and spill the vulnerabilities out to paper. This is a good place you are in. you place you in your words so well that i would choose you a comrade at arms without hesitation without even knowing you i do in your scrawl