Rain of My Lord

An Angel screamed when I was born,

And at the same time,

I was scorched,

Because my innocence was lost.

Baptized,

Took communion,

And confirmed it.

What a sermon.

itwasperfect

You should’ve heard it...

Yet, an exodus was leading me away.

And now,

I’m beating down tradition.

A plight that led my way.

Away from you.

Away from me.

Are you lonely?

'Cause I am.

Come along with me.

Let's pack up this Genesis

And make a way

Away with this belief.

Best believe I'm dammed,

So I search the six under the nine.

But I need you because

There's a void;

In my heart,

In your mind,

In our soul.

Oh my.

A new creature.

Who can be such?

But such as the aroma of my patience,

I'll stand here and there,

But never near.

Ever so clear.

Author's Note

Let my poems be the rain

Reviews

[Asya Kardzhaliyska]

You had some really beautiful imagery here and the emotion of the poem really came through- the only thing I felt didn't really work was the line "and my innocence was lost", that felt a little cliche to me, though it's just a suggestion so you can feel free to ignore it!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Asya, I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and I'm glad that you had enjoyed it.
-David

[Asya Kardzhaliyska]

That's alright, I'm glad I could help!

[ReedWrite]

Nicely done.
I like the theme...the ideas you're spinning here.
Definitely food for thought. Love these lines:
I was scorched,

Because my innocence was lost.

Baptized,

Took communion,

And confirmed it.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Reed, I hold those line close to me for they are very true.

[LapseOfMind]

Very nicely done, I enjoyed this. A solid, quick flow

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you, I'm glad that you did.

[EssenceofDaringx]

Your poems always have such a nice flow and the imagery is just amazing!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so, I highly appreciate it.

[Ana B.]

your beautiful rain fell, along with the aroma of patience and formed a crystal lake where your words will remain there as your legacy.

Your fan,
A.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Ana, that is such a lovely way to sum it up, I'm that you enjoyed this.

[Tashida]

WOW WOW WOW! Can I just say? I've read some pretty amazing poetry on this site and got inspired because of all of that poetry but this... Oh my God! I love poetry that stands for more than the actual words used to portray it. Holds a deeper meaning if you will and I definitely got a deeper meaning from this :)
At first I didn't know what to say because all of the other reviews pretty much said it all but....
WOW! I loved this! Just had to "tell" you ;)

[sinNsincerity]

Why thank you for that Tashida, I really appreciate it. I'm more than glad that you did get a deeper meaning from it. I would like to hope people put some thought into my words because I do.

[Tashida]

I can tell :) I seriously loved it. You did a great job :)

[Omikron]

I was completely blown away by the first sentences, and the rest of the poem flows like a waterfall.
I like how you occasionally break the pattern and give the poem a little twist, makes it more fun to read.

Thanks for sharing

// O

[sinNsincerity]

Nice, I'm trying to perfect that break as well as other things. It's my pleasure, I'm glad that you liked this piece Omikron.

[Jddcbjiuh]

well-written lines, with determination and rebellion against beliefs and only wanting put all care towards the person of your admiration, I like what this poem stands for.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Nini.

[Tabby Mac]

Let it rain! Very deep and meaningful write.
I enjoyed it very much! Love the biblical references too there are many!
Tabby

[sinNsincerity]

Always a pleasure Tabby, I'm really glad that you did enjoy those.

[Harlotte Crow]

I love the symbolic writing style. It was what struck me first and foremost. When I read, I read symbolically and it plays into imagery. The words very well turned into images.
The second was the lyricism and flow. It eases you through the story being told. It keeps you focused on the story in front of you.

Absolutely love it!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Demi, I'm so glad to hear that. I love when certain symbols and images reveal themselves to the reader in different ways.

[Emily]

I love this so much!!
Keep on writing!!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Emily.