Rain of My Lord

An Angel screamed when I was born,

And at the same time,

I was scorched,

Because my innocence was lost.

Baptized,

Took communion,

And confirmed it.

What a sermon.

itwasperfect

You should’ve heard it...

Yet, an exodus was leading me away.

And now,

I’m beating down tradition.

A plight that led my way.

Away from you.

Away from me.

Are you lonely?

'Cause I am.

Come along with me.

Let's pack up this Genesis

And make a way

Away with this belief.

Best believe I'm dammed,

So I search the six under the nine.

But I need you because

There's a void;

In my heart,

In your mind,

In our soul.

Oh my.

A new creature.

Who can be such?

But such as the aroma of my patience,

I'll stand here and there,

But never near.

Ever so clear.

Author's Note

Let my poems be the rain

Reviews

[Asya Kardzhaliyska]

You had some really beautiful imagery here and the emotion of the poem really came through- the only thing I felt didn't really work was the line "and my innocence was lost", that felt a little cliche to me, though it's just a suggestion so you can feel free to ignore it!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Asya, I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and I'm glad that you had enjoyed it.
-David

[Asya Kardzhaliyska]

That's alright, I'm glad I could help!

[LadyNaida]

It was kind of dark and deep at the same time. Deep emotions expressed. Thanks for sharing your write with me.

[KAVIBES]

beautiful imagery, great word usage, all together flows very smoothly. well done!

[Angela Sparks]

I know this from awhile ago but I am just now getting to my reading requests. This is a very controversial but meaningful poem. Everyone is raised, and expected to carry the tradition and religion of the family. How could we not? It's all they've ever showed us? but your poem challenges that all together. I love this poem and the great use of vocabulary and imagery too! everything easily flows:)

[YoshiPiccollo]

Wow! You had me hooked on the first line! Absolutely amazing poem.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Use of imagery is nice and this was a new concept which intrigued me. Thank you for sharing.

[Paul Bell]

Could take a passage out of R.E.M. Losing my religion. I think you have to ask questions of your faith, yourself. I suppose it's called growing. Great write.

[APOORVA]

Away from you.
Away from me.
Are you lonely?
'Cause I am.

wow!
commendable, these lines took my attention.

[Rebekah Smith]

Your poetry always leaves me confused. Certain aspects, I feel I can glean meaning from, but then, the rest eludes me.
Beautiful understanding of diction and words, I just wish it made sense to me

[Manu]

This is really a brilliant piece. I am really impressed with this write and the thought it holds. Brave and powerful.
The moment we are born we automatically get invested in a certain belief. We don’t have a choice in it. As we grow, we come to realize that everything that appears true and is being preached to us may not be the one that our soul is aiming for. Then comes the realization and if the person is somehow linked to the creator/God in any form, he does seek his answers from him. And I feel that the realization itself is a blessing. Patience and trust are really important elements of life because they complete the faith factor, without them life loses its real meaning and value.
Thanks for writing this thought provoking piece :-)
Outstanding piece, I loved the title- Rain of My lord.