Rum is for Drinking not Burning

I walked the plank and stumbled into your sea of a heart.

Shackled and chained.

"Any last words?"

-She offered with disdain.

Yes, just the last you had spoken unto me.

"Rum is for drinking not burning."

Red as the sea,

The pirate’s life is the life for me.

She followed me through victory,

But you see,

She slept with one eye opened,

While I held the misfortune of possessing none.

My sight was aimed on her heart

And hers on the treasure chest.

The dismay of your betrayal

Has forced me to take my very last drink.

She has overthrown the ship

As Alexander did to Thebes.

You Thief.

F**k you!

Author's Note

Gothspel

Reviews

[Schatzi]

Hello Sin in Sincerity,

Here are a few notes I made while reading. Feel free to use them or discard them as you see fit. :)

My sight was aimed [at] her heart *Was is in the passive voice. Consider using a different word.

I hope this helps.

Your poetry is so raw and passionate. Nicely done!

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for you suggestion Schatzi.

[selenafrancis]

Yo Ho Yo Ho!!! That was amazing. Very deep and very theatrical. Very appropriate for the subject lining.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so Selena, it is my pleasure.

[KWP]

A tale of love gone to the fish so to speak. I enjoyed the metaphors and imagery. This piece seems to be laced together very well. You keep us guessing but it all unveils before it unravels. A journey of she with a thousand loves and he who only needs one.

Nice one - I enjoyed this X

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad that you did enjoy it!

[Quinn W]

I love this so much! It's a cute little story and it has just the right amount of sadness/anger in it. I really like it because it shows the truth behind some relationships and what people truly want. The closest thing I can think to compare it to is to women who only use men for money or vice versa.Really enjoyed it.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Quinn, I like your comparison.

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

Pirates/folklore are super fun to read and write about! I thought this concept was unique and flowed really well. You have a talent for telling a story through poetry which is not an easy task! Keep it up!

[sinNsincerity]

I love folklore and Classic Children's Literature.
Thank you Tionge!

[Tammy Hendrix]

Ha! This is great! Fun. Never trust a pirate. Especially one with whom you may be smitten.

[sinNsincerity]

Foreals hehe

[Cara]

i love it, and i felt it
thank you for sharing

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Cara.

[Kathrin S]

Nice! The world of seafaring has always interested me greatly.

One suggestion: "Any last words?" is what 'she' says, right? If so, put it in quotation marks, because otherwise it's a bit confusing.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Kathrin.

[Nina H.]

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Very well written. Love the image you have painted with your words. Great piece.

[sinNsincerity]

Bottoms up! Hehe, thank you Nina, I took a Children's Lit class once and read so may of the original tales that I grew up with. And every now and then, I take certain themes and mesh them together with me.

[Ruth]

Ah, damn clever :) Some things we drink in without a care for the consequences at the time...if only our gulping at the lure of life and love didn't burn more than the rum :)

[sinNsincerity]

hhehe nice way to end that Ruth, I like that. Cheers.