Nice writing my man, I enjoyed it. Nothing wrong with telling ourselves we will survive. Learning from past challenges, I wear my scars as badges of honor.
Richie b.
This is relatable: it sounds like a giver, a healer...somebody that 'does' for others, secretly craves the appreciation that they know they won't get and gives themself anyway.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
A pleasure Rebekah. Secrets that the pages cherish dearly and I hand them out in silence.
Initially, I was drawn to this because of the artistic nude which already speaks volumes on its own. Bankruptcy is a common ailment that could trigger our sense of desperation such as prostitution, exotic dancer, or just posing for artistic nudes for money. Personally, the human body is a work of art so I do not perceive it as objectifying.
CONTENT AND FORMAT
Thus far, there is a reoccuring theme of failed love affairs. "Bankruptcy" has now attained two meanings: bankruptcy of love and bankruptcy of money. Subjectively, the poem seems to aim more towards loss of relationships; an unspoken loan of our emotions. I do not think we can ever repay the feelings we have for someone. There comes the day when we no longer have gambling chips or pieces of our heart.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Overall, I enjoyed this as well from you. You are able to put a unique spin on concrete words, giving them abstract meanings. Thank you for sharing!
sincerely,
ria
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much for spending the time to read and leaving me your thoughts Ria, I highly appreciat.. read moreThank you so much for spending the time to read and leaving me your thoughts Ria, I highly appreciate that.
-David
Nice writing my man, I enjoyed it. Nothing wrong with telling ourselves we will survive. Learning from past challenges, I wear my scars as badges of honor.
Richie b.
"But they were the ones who had
Foreclosed this love of mine."
Powerful lines! As a struggling millennial freshly out of graduate school, I can totally relate to this piece. In a way, telling ourselves we are fine when we are not is almost a human coping mechanism that a lot of us deal with, especially when we are so young and trying to dip our feet into the deep end of the pool we call "adulthood." Its amazing what the human mind can do to try and cling onto hope as much as possible in times of struggle. The human brain is so fascinating!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hope and faith can carry someone for eternity...
Very fascinating!
Wow, very deep with little words. Well done! As far as the structure goes, it seems good to me! Poetry was never my strong suit lol! I like your topic though because it's not something people usually write about, but that's what makes it special.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much Brooke, one of my goals is to take what people know and tell them something that t.. read moreThank you so much Brooke, one of my goals is to take what people know and tell them something that they don't. That's why I love to write; people have been writing for eons, so it's my duty and pleasure to bring something new to the table each single time. Very special and so are you.
There are no guarantees in life or with love...
connections are often broken and consumed by other false bearings.
commodities and reckless spending can ruin it all and bringing are bitter ending to a relationship.
The build up of hate and hurt can be overwhelming.
Starting over isn't easy and if it is done too soon it doesn't float--it sinks!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
And I acknowledge that by all means, guarantees and security isn't what I'm searching for... Just tr.. read moreAnd I acknowledge that by all means, guarantees and security isn't what I'm searching for... Just truth, that's all.
I'm not one who turns towards hate. I tend to forgive quite easily. I just don't like to get played. Tell me what's on your mind. You know???
And I never have to start over as long as I never give up.
Thank you for your insight Josie, I really enjoyed and respect what you have said.
God bless.