Attitude Stars Dilute

Tobacco soul,

You should see my heart...

But I wasn't always this way,

You should've seen me from the start...

Blackened to the hole

Like the sadness of an

Empty cereal bowl.

Pitch dark,

Stuck on a pitchfork.

I needed a spoon when I

Reached for the sky,

But I was handed

A cratered moon.

That's my Wiffle-ball

Of a heart...

I was disciplined

Before I had a chance

To speak with you.

I Sin in stark-

And that's Sincere.

Cancerous Capricorn,

You should see her horns.

So let's venture-

To the stars...

My Starkiller*

Be careful,

Because here,

There is no start...

Just our end,

So just stay there.

Right where I can stare.

Right where?

Right where your mind is bare.

Right where?

Right where you don't care.

Right where..?

Reviews

[Nicole Laszlo]

The imagery was brilliant and at some points, perhaps, over my head? "Tobacco soul"? Addictive soul? It's all I can imagine. It speaks to me of a very early pain and in turn an appreciation for what is raw. The ending was unique and really complimented the entire thing well. Good job, Mr. Sincerity ;)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Nicole, I wrote tobacco soul as to say how black it is, but an addictive one can fit just as well.

[Tessa Melendez]

This comes across as such a sad piece. "But I was handed/A cratered moon/That's my wiffle ball/of a heart.." and the second to last line gets me too, "Right where you don't care." This piece is so full of emotion and a decent measure of imagery. A very good job.

[Coyote Poetry]

Each statement added to the strength and the meaning of the poetry. I had to read a few times. I like the honest thoughts leading to the logical ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you my friend, I'm always pleased to hear from you and really glad that you had enjoyed this one.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome.

[reluctantsyren]

This sounds like a song. Very musical.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank very much!

[Valentine]

Leaves the reader much to think about. Valentine

[Zami Amma]

I love this piece so much! I especially love your reference to Astrology and journeying to the stars. Such a transcendent moment, you understand that in that moment, time is not of the essence. Feeling pure emotion in this poem all the way through, I'm very pleased. Thank you so much for sharing! :)

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad you did enjoy it. I always do try to keep my relationship with the stars pretty tight.

[Tiffany K Charles]

All great poets have a sketchy though about their work. Just know that this is a wonderful piece.... I know you want to scratch that level of amazing poems... You are well on your way. I enjoyed this piece

[sinNsincerity]

More of a haunting , but that is what pushes me to get better when it come with being creative.
read moreMore of a haunting , but that is what pushes me to get better when it come with being creative.
Thank you so much Tiffany, I really do appreciate that.

[T. Edana Talbott]

I love this! I wish it were a song - I think it would make a great one!
It gives me an idea for a poem. :) thank you

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad that it inspired you Edana.

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

*snaps*
I read this and reread it a couple times, not because i didn't understand it the first time but because i wanted to soak it in. Really well crafted piece

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Crystal, I am always pleased to hear from you and what you think.

[Pink Pastel]

i feel like this poem had lots to do with your name and personality nice and i am a Capricorn too.

[sinNsincerity]

That and other things, when is your birthday?

[Pink Pastel]

Your welcome and my birthday is January 7^-^

[sinNsincerity]

Luck 7's hehe I'll do my best to remember that to wish you a happy birthday.

[Pink Pastel]

Oh no need and yours?

[sinNsincerity]

July 14, 1989

[Pink Pastel]

Wow very far^0^

[sinNsincerity]

Or just passed lol 3 months ago

[Pink Pastel]

Yea it did congrats;)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you, I'm getting old lol