Reading this I struggled to decide if I liked the way it read. I'd lose myself in your flow and rhythm and then it would change. Then I'd pick up another pace all for it to change again. And then I realised that is what I love about this. And you never set the pace in the same way which was wonderful. So more than just saying how beautiful this is, I'd say that your delivery is just as enchanting as the story.
(i liked reading aloud even more than in my head)
Thanks for sharing!
J
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
That's pretty awesome to hear, I wrote that opening line to foreshadow just that as the stream of co.. read moreThat's pretty awesome to hear, I wrote that opening line to foreshadow just that as the stream of consciousness expands. I try to set things up and pull it away which creates the changes and the rhythm is never the same. I want it to let the readers mind travel down several paths in their own mind with each read. I would hope and love to hear that readers read my work aloud because that's how I feel it should be read to hear the sounds I place in the poem. I'm really glad to hear that is what you loved.
7 Years Ago
deep thinking!
i like that you put so much thought and effort into not only your work but the.. read moredeep thinking!
i like that you put so much thought and effort into not only your work but the way that it is presented.
Very nice flow of thoughts. I liked them.
"I don't want to bruise,
Use,
Or lose you...."
The above line. Nice closing to the poem. The thoughts felt honest and true.
Coyote
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much Sir, I highly appreciate that and I'm glad that you'd enjoyed it. Have a blessed .. read moreThank you so much Sir, I highly appreciate that and I'm glad that you'd enjoyed it. Have a blessed day.
Reading this I struggled to decide if I liked the way it read. I'd lose myself in your flow and rhythm and then it would change. Then I'd pick up another pace all for it to change again. And then I realised that is what I love about this. And you never set the pace in the same way which was wonderful. So more than just saying how beautiful this is, I'd say that your delivery is just as enchanting as the story.
(i liked reading aloud even more than in my head)
Thanks for sharing!
J
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
That's pretty awesome to hear, I wrote that opening line to foreshadow just that as the stream of co.. read moreThat's pretty awesome to hear, I wrote that opening line to foreshadow just that as the stream of consciousness expands. I try to set things up and pull it away which creates the changes and the rhythm is never the same. I want it to let the readers mind travel down several paths in their own mind with each read. I would hope and love to hear that readers read my work aloud because that's how I feel it should be read to hear the sounds I place in the poem. I'm really glad to hear that is what you loved.
7 Years Ago
deep thinking!
i like that you put so much thought and effort into not only your work but the.. read moredeep thinking!
i like that you put so much thought and effort into not only your work but the way that it is presented.
Good LORD! I dont even know what to say to you...
I'll be your rock bottom.
Please, let me catch you.
If i could live in your words i would take my self a bed and rest. Damn Sin!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I have been waiting for the one who those words would touch.
I love those two lines.
T.. read moreI have been waiting for the one who those words would touch.
I love those two lines.
Those two line alone say it all.
That has to be the best complement I have received in my life up to this moment. hehe ;)
Works both way because the bars are double-bladed swords.
It is not me who has put my heart .. read moreWorks both way because the bars are double-bladed swords.
It is not me who has put my heart on hold, but my heart which has been holding me back. This is endurance when truth becomes betrayal. Apparently.
8 Years Ago
I truly understand what you are saying. I myself can't trust anyone anymore. People in general have .. read moreI truly understand what you are saying. I myself can't trust anyone anymore. People in general have taken something so simple (love) and have totally complicated it. Every time I have given my heart to someone, whether if it may be relationships, friends, family. And there is that two percent I don't have to worry about, and I thank God for them because I might have gone insane without them. So yes, it is very much so a double bladed sword.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Fahmida, it is always such a pleasure to get to know everyone just a bit better. Have a lovely day!
I love the journey of each and every one of your poems. Though there is a theme, you cover so many different ideas/topics that make the reader think and feel. It's beautiful.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I try to stay consistent with the theme and my style. Over time, it has evolved due to the fact that.. read moreI try to stay consistent with the theme and my style. Over time, it has evolved due to the fact that I study all aspect of writing- from ancient's, children's lit, etc... and incorporate ideas with mine. I want people to be able to recognize my work right off the bat without knowing I wrote it.
8 Years Ago
You're well on your way to coining your own style :)
Your poetry is full of thought, its also quite meaningful.
This poem takes us on a journey throughall your different thoughts and feelings it seems.
I liked the little bit of rhymes you did have in there. Especially when u rhymed some pretty big words, impressive.
I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I write about someone and for them, so I owe it to them to put in a lot of thought.
My pleasu.. read moreI write about someone and for them, so I owe it to them to put in a lot of thought.
My pleasure, I'm very glad that you'd enjoyed it.
Playful and illusive, yet standing in plain sight. A lot of imagery slithering within the emotional counterpoints.
The construction is strong, and there is an earnest invitation to appreciate the text without an expectation to accept an absolute meaning.
Rhyming outside of a measurable scheme, I have to say well done, its casual and elegant.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I leave it quite ambiguous, so that people may not seek my meaning, but rather their own...