Fallen in Autumn

Sultry Mrs. Vixen;

My lustrous Vampiress Princess.

Lost sight of the lie,

Then exiled from

Your Eden heart.

Thine Oedipus eyes

Seduced the Exodus plight.

Never denying,

Providing the bottom line

Above your eyes.

No tears for my Icarus cries.

Magik and the Divine.

Your grace

Has summoned my mind

With your taste.

A drip of blood is all

That remained on your fangs.

Your pendulum waist

Unwinds my mental waste.

Desires and our fire contained

Within the rock portal;

Speaking with only cups and a string

-Aeneas and Dido

Unmortals

Unhonest

Untestimonious

My hell swells, swells, and swells;

Dwelling in your fornever

Ending wishing well

I upheld with dying stars.

Touch me too!

Author's Note

Voila

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

Ahhh....those autumn (or fall) stumbles....do they quite compare to the ones in summer?

Delightful read, as always.

The upside is, as one star dies, it's black hole is beginning of a new one, right? (I am a poet, if I say so, it is true....lol)

[sinNsincerity]

Summer can be quite cold.
It's all a Russian Doll.

[Southern_Writes]

Beautiful imagery and flow, your words weave together beautifully.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for spending the time to read it, I really glad that you enjoyed it.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Images of characters
Maybe this needs a different ending...?
Fallen in the fall--a season of colors.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Josie.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

You are welcome!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

I love vampire tales and it's always good for a beautiful poem. Well done, Sin in Sincerity. :) Rudi

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Rudy, I'm so glad that you feel so!

[Jamestown]

Always enjoy reading your amazing work, love the use of biblical terms and opposite:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Bro! How have you been? =D

[Jamestown]

I've been really good up until last Friday when I lost my younger brother to heroin overdose:(
I thought I better start writing my feelings and frustrations down, a healthy outlet. Hope all is well
with you and yours:)

[sinNsincerity]

Danm man that so horrible, I'm sorry to hear that man. I send my prayers to you and you family.

[Stan Lee]

Couldn't help smiling at this poem S.S. You say so much in so few words and conjure up some intriguing and wonderful visions in the minds eye. Always amazing but this one is really something else. Has she seen it? :)

[sinNsincerity]

I didn't write if about anyone, bit I did write it with someone in mind. I you get me...
She has seen it. We just live in different spaces and times, but we'll find each other once again.
Yea, i haven't had the time to write because of school and all, so when I do get a chance to think i make it count.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Double T]

Nice poem. I like how you include vampire lore with biblical meaning behind. It truly captures romance and art at the same time. What I also like is the rhymes you put in the poem like waist rhymes with waist.

writing: 8/10
meaning: 8/10
Overall: good, but it needs some smiles and metaphors.

[sinNsincerity]

The entire poem is a metaphor. I'm using all these allusions to describe a women and my love for her.

[Isabel]

I've never read a poem in this sort of structure before so, very interesting take and very nice!

[sinNsincerity]

That's really awesome to hear Maria! I'm glad you found it interesting.

[Nirupama.H]

Good job on this one!
My favorite lines were:
" Thine Oedipus eyes
Seduced the Exodus plight"
Keep writing.
Nirupama

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much for reading and I am really glad that you enjoyed those lines!

[S. von Glaubitz]

You've captured the idea of vampire in this poem. The allusions to Greek myth and Biblical stories convey a timelessness that an "unmortal" (awesome word) ought to possess.

My only problem, and this might just be me not being very strong at poetry, is the lack of punctuation. It's hard to tell where one idea ends and another starts, but maybe that's the effect you're going for.

Enjoyable read!

[sinNsincerity]

Yea, I wanted that affect, so that the reader would think, What the hell is going on?" Now they have to examine it. I've been using a stream and combinations of sets of phrases, in which I try to fit together harmoniously. It allows me to capture the exact thought as fresh as possible. I usually use punctuation quite well. I just want this one to seduce the mind from sever angles.
I'm actually glad that you said that because that confusion is natural and I love exploiting it.
Yes, that just once form that my Goddess possesses, I haven't figured her out yet, and might not ever.
Thank you so much for reading Miss S. von Glaubitz, I really enjoyed your comments and your insight as well. I highly appreciate it.

[wordman]

something about the vampire that draws us,i like your left side,don't follow any rules,follow your heart

[sinNsincerity]

Can't forget about witches. Thank you so much for reading Sir!