Never Gonna Tell a Soul

I had to let you know

With a poem

'Cause I'm not too good

When speaking in person

Or even over the telephone

So here's my love note

My Corazón

More than my amigo

But no O

'Cause it should of ended with ah

Feminine like the shape

Of a glass bottle of Coca-Cola

Ahhh

Giving me a rush like

The coke that used

To do backstrokes

Up into my nostrils

Ahhh

I'm putty to your hands

Do with me as you wish

My heart is play-dough

Perfect for molding

&

Lots to offer like

The mind of Plato

More like Aristotle

Whatever you say goes...

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

I like the use of the classics mixed in with modern phrase that communicate our culture- the coke glass and the coke up your nostrils- a great phrase there with the backstroke. You offer your physical self to be molded, shaped and surrendered as "putty in hands", but there is a mind there too that offers thoughts as classic and deep as Plato and Aristotle. The complete surrender of your will is scary to me, but I get it. Great poem.

[sinNsincerity]

The two elements you have pointed out is a blend I strive for, but is still not where I want it to be. It's getting there. It's an interesting piece, because yes, I do display my knowledge of the classics, in which I will be forever digging through, and modern times. I'm glad you like the backstroke phrase hehe not one of my proudest years but what the hell...
I pretty much have been an offering all my life had fought it all my life up until recently I have accepted I am not here for me, but for those who seek me. I guess the thing your eyes see and the mental tattoos that linger have forced me to surrender, but not submit completely I must say...
Thank you once again Marianne!

[Kelly Scheppers]

I loved your analogy with the play dough, and having the mind of Plato. Sometimes, when we can't find the words to say, it's best expressed within a poem.

[Chrys Marie]

This was really clever and had me hooked on from the first lines. Genius work!

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad you could travel though time with me. Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[Sammie]

It is invoking. Pulled me in from the start. I love your style the fearless way you write. You weave the words together with such a careful way.
I like it not sure how many ways I can say it. Bravo!

[sinNsincerity]

Why thank you Sammie, I highly appreciate that and I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[Cecilia]

I loved the comparisons in you writing! It was super creative!!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so Victoria.

[Nirupama.H]

The coca - cola part was brilliant ! Really loved all the comparisons you've used. Good job :)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Nirupama, I'm more than glad that you'd enjoyed that part!

[MinorArt]

I thoroughly enjoyed this, very playful and powerful

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad that you did. Thank you so much for reading!

[worldcitygirl]

this is truly awesome, it's so real and the moment it starts, I'm captivated by what's about to be said next. It does remind me a lot of rap in a sense, though i don't know if that's what you were going for or not. Thanks for sharing!

[sinNsincerity]

Why thank you, I didn't intend for it to be like a rap, but I did phrase it the way I did so that there would be a rhythm and flow which will give some life to the words when read.
Thank you so much for spending the time to read and leaving me your thought.
I rally love that!

[...]

Yeah, I've definitely been missing out and I'm keeping this :) You got some real substance in your words S&S

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad you'd enjoyed it Lynn
and that makes me smile.
Thank you!

[Z]

I can see influence from Shakespeare in your writing (please excuse me if I am wrong). However, the lines in the poem are sometimes vaguely related and for such cases, try creating a new stanza. Punctuation could be added to create a smooth rhythm and sense in the piece. Great personification and incorporation of foreign languages.

[sinNsincerity]

I have read just a few of his work like, "A Midsummer," but I wouldn't begin to compare myself with him haha He was a master!