There are some really strong lines in here i am particularly in love with the
It came with no receipt
and there was most certainly
no needs for a plastic
or paper bag...
To me that shows the limitedsness of the this relationship to be served once. Great piece, the lines of this is the part that stick out the most to me, almost an illusion, like its true meaning is just peeking out. Very nice solid work.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I can't give it all away...that's for face to face convo's hehe =D
I am eager to see a Asian-American Sundance in action.
I almost feel teased, I want more.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
That was just my cleaver way of saying sunrise and set from Cali.
And I like to play the teas.. read moreThat was just my cleaver way of saying sunrise and set from Cali.
And I like to play the tease sometimes hehe, so that's good to hear.
Thank you so much for reading Ms. Fox, I appreciate that.
There are some really strong lines in here i am particularly in love with the
It came with no receipt
and there was most certainly
no needs for a plastic
or paper bag...
To me that shows the limitedsness of the this relationship to be served once. Great piece, the lines of this is the part that stick out the most to me, almost an illusion, like its true meaning is just peeking out. Very nice solid work.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I can't give it all away...that's for face to face convo's hehe =D
Line spacing is very pleasing, even aesthetically. Reminds me of a 'kitchen sink' revolving story. a humble and honest, light hearted love. Thanks! Willow x
i really enjoyed this. the way i read this it was a little bittersweet. the only comment is "because we came to eat" didn't flow as nicely as the rest of it but it didn't take away from your writing either. maybe its because of how i read it with the exclamation point...
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for reading Ali and I'm glad you enjoyed it for the most part! =D
I enjoyed the wording, but the presentation of the poem made it feel a bit more disjointed to me, which took from the sensuality expressed within the piece. Also, 'like the Asian-American sun dance' phrase gave me a a bit of a stumble. I'm guessing it's another way to phrase the Natives of the Americas, but if I'm wrong, please let me know. Thank you for sharing!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks Taylor. The Asian-American sun dance tells of the rising and setting of the sun and symbolize.. read moreThanks Taylor. The Asian-American sun dance tells of the rising and setting of the sun and symbolizes how it'll always be there like love...
Ok, you've given me a while. Time for my thoughts.
"The story of love, first found in a Grocery Store." Was that a tag line for a story, it wouldn't hold my attention. Was it the advert for a movie or TV series, I would think of a sappy Romantic Comedy, which I don't care for.
But again, your ability to weave words makes me create with that tag, and stick with it. Also allows me again to see my own thoughts.
The story (That I saw)- Th memory of a lover who met his other in a grocery store, They hit it up, and never finished speaking as they left to go to one of their houses for some food. Now, it was reheated in the microwave, without pots or pans, because they had bought no food.
This leads (Somehow) to a night of passion, and the next day they get up and leave to eat breakfast at a diner, as they (she) now has no food in her house.
The title just came to mind because I was talking about grocery shopping with the women I wrote this.. read moreThe title just came to mind because I was talking about grocery shopping with the women I wrote this for, so that was the inspiration for this poem. I have met a past girlfriend at the market though. I have never took the time to write about her because she left so much pain in my heart. I wrote one about her named, "Yesenia," you can check it out if you like...
The Repeat, reheat, re-glance is the analysis that play in my mind...
The no pots or pan, shirts and pants... states that we do need materialistic items to grow with each other.
As long as we remember that we just need to refresh the way to keep one another smiling, that love will always be there like the sun.
It came with no receipt, so there's no price on it. Our hearts can't be bought or bargained with
9 Years Ago
I love the way you charge your words with meaning.
And like I say, I do not know your.. read moreI love the way you charge your words with meaning.
And like I say, I do not know your mind, so I can only give you what I see. In any case, I ABSOLUTLY love those sentiments. Thank you for those.
9 Years Ago
I don't even know my mind haha and I don't think I ever will...
That's why I follow my heart .. read moreI don't even know my mind haha and I don't think I ever will...
That's why I follow my heart more often than my eyes.