This poem is amazing, each line having so much meaning behind it!
"Calm, but oh so nervous."
I really enjoy how relate-able this feeling is. You captured a common anxious feeling, and you described it perfectly.
"Trying so hard not to be both."
I also enjoy the meaning behind this, it could mean to be only one or to be neither, and the interpretation of this has an effect on how you read the poem.
"So easily you provoke and I really hope that you don’t see me as a joke."
This line makes me believe that it could be about a series of things, falling in love, getting cheated on, but overall something to do with a romantic relationship
"Not so new at this; ‘though, it feels like the very first time."
Once again, you captured a common feeling perfectly, that seems to be one of your strong suits. You have a deep understanding of emotions.
"I usually express myself through the pencil, paper, and wrist."
This line is very deep, many can relate to it, although it saddens me if you can.
"I keep it all to myself, but I suppose you should really know all of this."
I like the second half of that line, it leads me to think this poem is about relationship problems and not opening up can cause them.
"I love to love and be loved!"
Loving to be loved will often get you hurt, but that line alone may be one of the most honest things I have ever read, often times a lot of people love for the being in a relationship aspect of it.
"This is my only purpose- why and what I was born for."
The poem seems to be about a problem, but the previous line was about love, leading to a possibly of different interpretation again, a skill to have when it comes to poetry. I enjoy your lines that do that.
"I will slay and kill you with kindness."
I really enjoy this line, it's appealing and truthful.
"I do my best to leave you love messages in the sky above."
Again, open to many forms of interpretation. My way of taking it is showing love even in the most overlooked and unnoticed ways.
"When the world becomes a place where no one wants to be,
I would softly kiss you hard and hold you every second as if it would be the last."
I love the deep meaning behind these two lines, and they flow together quite nicely.
"I will write you poetry everyday ‘till my lungs collapse!"
Just aww. My only feedback on this is aww.
"Gazing into your eyes… trying to read your thoughts perhaps?"
I see this to be presented as an excuse, but it could have a million different meanings. 100 people could read this poem and they could all have different thoughts on the meaning. That takes a lot of talent, to write something like this!
"I know that your love cannot be bargain with or bought,
so please accept this for you to quote when I am gone."
These two lines make me think a lot, I am not sure of what they make me think of or feel. I really enjoy when an author makes me feel that way.
"I wish that you will never forget me."
My first and only complaint, the wording in this feels a little shaky.
"Please always keep me close at heart!
For whenever it is broken,
I will always be here!"
As much as I just want to say aww again, that was clever wording, a common saying turned into something even more meaningful. You're a genius with words throughout this poem.
"You just have to open up and read
my dear..."
A beautiful ending to a beautiful poem.
Overall I enjoyed this poem greatly! I only have one small complain, and that was the slightly shaky wording in one line. I could be reading it wrong though, I am very aware that the problem could easily be lying within me. Otherwise, the poem was amazing, your work never fails to blow me away. I am very glad that I discovered your work and I can't wait to read more!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Anxiety is something I have always felt and did a great job in masking it, but it is something I dea.. read moreAnxiety is something I have always felt and did a great job in masking it, but it is something I deal with 'till this day.
We all have those moments where we wished we can relive and say the things we never did, so this poem is relaying it.
Loving to love and be loved is as deep as it gets and does bring pain, but I have learned the misery accompanied is always worth it and I would never take any of it back.
And I love that you feel that that line feels shaky because that's what life is all about. It's never smooth sailing, but the following line brings back some security and certainty.
There is no problem with you. It should me what ever it means to you and like you said... a hundred people can read it and all get a different meaning out of it. Hell, I get a different meaning out of it every time I read it and that's what makes writing so beautiful and timeless to me.
I am very well pleased with what you thought about it and I cannot thank you enough. I really do appreciate you spending the time to actually read it Haylee.
Another fantastic write by a fabulous poet:)
Love on my brother and all in due time you will
be with her that loves u just as hard as u u:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!
Surely! Where have you been man, how have things been?
9 Years Ago
Denver, and missing cali everyday:(
Got a great job and as always God is good, but I also read moreDenver, and missing cali everyday:(
Got a great job and as always God is good, but I also
know that when life is good God allows curveballs to see
if I'm paying attention, I guess time will tell:) PTL and b-blessed
my brother!
9 Years Ago
That's really nice. What are you doing for work?
Oh yea, told you LeBron was gonna lose.
I really enjoy your free-flowing style in this poem. There's a lot of emotion behind each line. But I'm a critic, so here's one question I have: earlier, you wrote in the poem "I usually express myself through the pencil, paper, and wrist" then go on to write "I will write you poetry everyday ‘till my lungs collapse!" All flowery words and I love them, though instead of lungs collapsing, I would imagine the narrator's wrist snapping from writing so many poems. Or getting callouses or something that would afflict his hands more so than his lungs since, from what I gathered, he has not yet proclaimed his love to the beloved. So his lungs have not endured wear and tear, but his hand from writing has. Thoughts?
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I actually played that through my mind and was going to write it as "till my hands fall of," but I f.. read moreI actually played that through my mind and was going to write it as "till my hands fall of," but I figured that it's still possible to write a poem through voice recording, so I chose to write till I die.
9 Years Ago
Fair. I admire artists who can defend their work. Some people take a different artistic approach, wh.. read moreFair. I admire artists who can defend their work. Some people take a different artistic approach, which is cool.
"I love to love and be loved" - recalls to me of one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite singers - the Nat King Cole standard 'The Greatest Thing' .
The most beautiful aspect of the human condition and sadly it can also be the aspect that destroys us when we are unable or unwilling to do do both - become a conduit for love in and love out or suffer the consequences ...
Beautiful contemplative writing as always Sin.
:)
This poem is amazing, each line having so much meaning behind it!
"Calm, but oh so nervous."
I really enjoy how relate-able this feeling is. You captured a common anxious feeling, and you described it perfectly.
"Trying so hard not to be both."
I also enjoy the meaning behind this, it could mean to be only one or to be neither, and the interpretation of this has an effect on how you read the poem.
"So easily you provoke and I really hope that you don’t see me as a joke."
This line makes me believe that it could be about a series of things, falling in love, getting cheated on, but overall something to do with a romantic relationship
"Not so new at this; ‘though, it feels like the very first time."
Once again, you captured a common feeling perfectly, that seems to be one of your strong suits. You have a deep understanding of emotions.
"I usually express myself through the pencil, paper, and wrist."
This line is very deep, many can relate to it, although it saddens me if you can.
"I keep it all to myself, but I suppose you should really know all of this."
I like the second half of that line, it leads me to think this poem is about relationship problems and not opening up can cause them.
"I love to love and be loved!"
Loving to be loved will often get you hurt, but that line alone may be one of the most honest things I have ever read, often times a lot of people love for the being in a relationship aspect of it.
"This is my only purpose- why and what I was born for."
The poem seems to be about a problem, but the previous line was about love, leading to a possibly of different interpretation again, a skill to have when it comes to poetry. I enjoy your lines that do that.
"I will slay and kill you with kindness."
I really enjoy this line, it's appealing and truthful.
"I do my best to leave you love messages in the sky above."
Again, open to many forms of interpretation. My way of taking it is showing love even in the most overlooked and unnoticed ways.
"When the world becomes a place where no one wants to be,
I would softly kiss you hard and hold you every second as if it would be the last."
I love the deep meaning behind these two lines, and they flow together quite nicely.
"I will write you poetry everyday ‘till my lungs collapse!"
Just aww. My only feedback on this is aww.
"Gazing into your eyes… trying to read your thoughts perhaps?"
I see this to be presented as an excuse, but it could have a million different meanings. 100 people could read this poem and they could all have different thoughts on the meaning. That takes a lot of talent, to write something like this!
"I know that your love cannot be bargain with or bought,
so please accept this for you to quote when I am gone."
These two lines make me think a lot, I am not sure of what they make me think of or feel. I really enjoy when an author makes me feel that way.
"I wish that you will never forget me."
My first and only complaint, the wording in this feels a little shaky.
"Please always keep me close at heart!
For whenever it is broken,
I will always be here!"
As much as I just want to say aww again, that was clever wording, a common saying turned into something even more meaningful. You're a genius with words throughout this poem.
"You just have to open up and read
my dear..."
A beautiful ending to a beautiful poem.
Overall I enjoyed this poem greatly! I only have one small complain, and that was the slightly shaky wording in one line. I could be reading it wrong though, I am very aware that the problem could easily be lying within me. Otherwise, the poem was amazing, your work never fails to blow me away. I am very glad that I discovered your work and I can't wait to read more!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Anxiety is something I have always felt and did a great job in masking it, but it is something I dea.. read moreAnxiety is something I have always felt and did a great job in masking it, but it is something I deal with 'till this day.
We all have those moments where we wished we can relive and say the things we never did, so this poem is relaying it.
Loving to love and be loved is as deep as it gets and does bring pain, but I have learned the misery accompanied is always worth it and I would never take any of it back.
And I love that you feel that that line feels shaky because that's what life is all about. It's never smooth sailing, but the following line brings back some security and certainty.
There is no problem with you. It should me what ever it means to you and like you said... a hundred people can read it and all get a different meaning out of it. Hell, I get a different meaning out of it every time I read it and that's what makes writing so beautiful and timeless to me.
I am very well pleased with what you thought about it and I cannot thank you enough. I really do appreciate you spending the time to actually read it Haylee.