Wonder Lust

You left me breathless

when you asked,

“Do you like my

necklace?,” as

you escalated your

fingers down from

your left collar

bone towards your cleavage.

The center piece...

Heart exceeding because

a dose of you is

extremely needed!

Please my dear, I’m

in dire need

of O D-ing!

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

Lovely write! Can sense the passion between the lines...

However, I'm not sure whether "escalate" is the right word for what the fingers did......yes, maybe the situation escalated.......and that is quite a pivotal verb in the poem.....so I cannot suggest an alternative, but that's what I got in my first reading.....

Towards the end of the poem, it got a "rap" vibe, where my feet started to tap, but then it stopped.....as if there was more to come....

Great work!

[sinNsincerity]

Escalate as in an escalator. They go up as well as down. Hence her fingers moving downward.
That pretty sweet that you got that vibe. I just used rhythm and pace.
But I stopped it short.
That's part of the seduction.
Always leave them wanting more.

[Devious13]

ummm well its nothing to do with lust to me im gonna say that the best part was the intro and def have potential but step up the word play , i know you have it you hold back but all your pieces are a joy to read i just want to hear the inside version what the originak thought is before you put it through the process of making what you feel is correct speak the soul
good job ,

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you hon, i know what you mean.

[JayceeC]

Mmmm really like this Sin. It's simple and direct-- a visceral reaction to a simple action. Only suggestion is to make ODing O. D.ing or O D-ing.It caught me off guard the first time.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Jan, I did go on and fix that.
Yea, I just wanted to capture one of those bite your lip type of moment.
I would hope the fingers escalating downwards would give that vivid picture...

[JayceeC]

Very vivid. And yes it is better with the hyphen.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

An OD of love, that's how I want to die. Very well done, Sin in Sincerity. :) Rudi

[sinNsincerity]

As do I Rudi!
Thank you for reading!

[TheOne&Only]

I thought this was a clever, promiscuous write. I loved it. Excellent write as always.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you hon, Always a pleasure!

[Stephen]

I liked. Very good. Thanks for sharing

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you!

[marcus]

I liked this! But a little confused by the second 'you' in line 5 and the 'you' in line 7. Should it be 'your'?

[sinNsincerity]

Oh yea, thanks for catching that. I just fixed it!

[dan]

Overdosing on love...a great name for a rock song. A great idea well written, my friend! take care...dan

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Dan!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

A great write. I enjoyed reading it.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you!

[B]

I always thought the place where your heart is
very much sacred
a window to you
just right there

whether it be a necklace or a hand

touching that place
is the beginning of true love

Real sweet write
Smooth

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you hon!

[A Lonely Girl]

Love this! I love the sensual imagery. You are a talented poet. Well done! :)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it!