In so few words you managed to explain that state of "numbness" a lot of people can't describe - and I myself can I identify with this poem frequently.
I also loved how you called this "Deleted Scenes"; the scenes that happened, but aren't seen by the public eye, just as this 'state' in the poem, normally goes unnoticed/unseen by those around us.
"I'm just a wanderer in a forbidden lobby." That last line is a killer.
Fantastic job. Round of applause for you!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
The life of an outcast who love to be left alone...and travels from within hehe
Thank so much.. read moreThe life of an outcast who love to be left alone...and travels from within hehe
Thank so much Alice, I highly enjoy your analysis and what makes it relatable to you.
-David.
i like the desensitized feelings in this, the metaphor of the mind of a dead man’s soul, personally I didn't really like the rhyme at the end, maybe you can change it to "body" to symbolize that with out emotions we are no longer human or something.
I wrote this about how, in my opinion, it is important for me to get out of myself and lose myself.... read moreI wrote this about how, in my opinion, it is important for me to get out of myself and lose myself...
To forget out my emotions and everything I think. To be lost with total control, so that I may find a greater self. A higher self.
Sometimes we all go there.. That place where bodies cannot enter in real time.. A place where we escape from this world and find another.
Very well penned!
I liked this very much! Read it thrice!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Yes! You see it just how I wanted people to see it! I'm so glad.
Thank you Jyoti!
i like it a lot. it expresses so much in such few words. I like how it has this hidden dark theme that lures me in with curiosity.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you. I wrote this about how, in my opinion, it is important for me to get out of myself and lo.. read moreThank you. I wrote this about how, in my opinion, it is important for me to get out of myself and lose myself...
Wow!! Sin. I knew I loved your writing, but this piece brings a real sharp reminder of just why that is!!! So honest and raw!!! Love it to bits!!!! alf
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
That means a lot hear and I really appreciate it Alf.
very close the murder and anger that is in my heart today at least as i read this piece that is the thought that i took from it , then again that could be from the obsession of my recent tragic events but i love this piece as any , as usual great job
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I'm more of stepping out of myself to gain on other point of view; but hey, that's really cool that .. read moreI'm more of stepping out of myself to gain on other point of view; but hey, that's really cool that you got that out of it.