Just

Sunday drives,

Not so sunny skies.

Not at all close to perfect

And at this moment,

I really hate my life!

Though I acknowledge that I am blessed,

Passed tensed,

To be alive.

I am full of envy,

Hate,

And despise!

I’m captured in the true lies

And I can’t escape them no matter how

Hard I try…

Perfecting deception without a care…

I ask, “Is this the work of the devil,

or just me?”

Everyday I pray to the lord,

Not asking why, but asking for

Forgiveness.

Everyday there’s more pain and agony...

My heart is so cold;

Therefore,

My heart is speechless.

I don’t know what to do or say..,

So a lonely soul  I’ll remain…

I smoke and drink away these past days to erase last year’s taste…

Yet it all still remains…

The flames claim the future, past, and present:

Yes, 

All of me!

Why have I allowed myself to become this hopeless creature ?

No love.

No dreams.

All I have are these tears to comfort me..,

So don’t ask why don’t I care

Because I can no longer feel, 

So I steal your happiness

When I ask, 

“How are you?”

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad journey in the words. We will be many people in along life. Sometime happy and sometime filled with Anger. I like the internal thoughts in the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much for reading!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[wordman]

life is a hard road for most of us,feelings up and down

[sinNsincerity]

Yea it is, but over the years I have gained a new perspective on life.
Some say they are at drift at sea hoping for a life raft, but I'm not, I'm swimming around freely with back strokes and all.
Thanks for reading kind Sir!

[Maja]

Those final lines, man. Those final lines made this poem heartbreaking. This one is definitely going to my Favorites. Thank you for your writing. :)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Maja!!!

[JayceeC]

Sometimes I think we are just not quite ready for whatever or whoever the good Lord or fate intends for us. I'm not sure why the time of waiting is so full of pain. Maybe, so we are willing to really work at keeping it together when the right one comes along. I thought the right one had passed me by, but still I held to my faith, and was rewarded after many tears and mistakes later. Actually I found my missing part when I quit looking. I'm hoping you will find yours soon.

[sinNsincerity]

Faith can carry person towards salvation and I'm always ready for for what God sends my way because I've learned there's no winning or losing. Failure is non existent unless you stay stuck and never move on. Everything is a learning experience to better oneself and that's all I'm worried about right now. The rest will take care of itself.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me Jan!

[B]

Sometimes asking someone How are you
Reminds you that you do care

Despite anything

You really want to know How is this person doing

So when you find yourself asking

Note the person
and the fact that you do in fact still feel alot
its hard to ask about anyone when you are going through your hell :)

[sinNsincerity]

You right on it! That's exactly why I put it in the end. We all are going through our version of hell and the only way to get out of myself is to see how other are and that make me happy.

[Jamestown]

This piece is raw emotional. I couuld feel every line:(
Life is a tough travel sometimes, well penned and delivered:)
Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[sinNsincerity]

Yep, but it all has a reason and meaning.

[fattycbreezy52]

this is a painful and too very relatable write on your part.There are things which we feel but do not know in terms of what and how do we feel...........The real problem starts here.I will only find a solution to my problem only if I know what my problem is.But,here I am clueless about the state I am in.Great words capturing a nameless feeling.Good job:)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for reading and seeing it that way!

[sereenaoutloud]

This is a great write but also so sad. Just drowning out each day, numbing so they do no feel the pain but that also mean they do not feel the love either!