Whiplash

When you look me in my eyes and see a shine,

It’s not a star,

Just all of the pain that I hold inside of my heart.

I’m indifferent,

So I remain different.

My inner beast is my sickness,

But I love this wickedness!

When I’m good I’m good and when I’m bad I’m bad,

But I do the best to be the best me.

I lost myself trying to find myself.

No distance,

I just don’t want to remain as a witness.

I can kick it like a cactus,

Always chill in the summer heat,

I’m the summer breeze.

We can go the distance; although, I do not intend to get you undress.

I’ll be me and you be you,

No need to impress,

I think way too much,

It’s far from a disease!

Everyone has left me down in the past,

So I only have God, music, and weed.

The future can bring new dreams into reality,

The only problem is that I never get any sleep!

I stay up countless hours just counting sheep.

Do sheep count sheep when they can’t sleep?

My thoughts are full of negativity,

But I acknowledge that this isn’t me.

Every now and then,

Life just doesn’t seem so right for me.

Call me weak,

My mind wants to leave,

My soul screams,

My outer body has suicidal tendencies.

I will never end it on my own,

So know when my soul expresses my pain through writings…

It’s not what I want,

But what I need.

Reviews

[Lucy]

I can relate to this a lot; a few of the rhymes were a stretch but the message came across. It's really hard honestly how you loose yourself when you try to find it, and being suck on yes and no. I think this poem has a lot of potential since it has a strong message. A piece of criticism would be to find a certain pattern and to stick with it, sometimes long verses overpower the rhyme/pattern. The material is wonderful but a definite pattern could be there. Nonetheless, still a nice poem :)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Lucy!

[jeannemarie coulter]

a fine thought provoking read...well penned...

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you!

[guy drori]

This poem gives the impression that the speaker really accepts who he is without fighting himself. He's also very well aware of his desires. I liked the format. I also liked the line "My inner beast is my sickness,
But I love this wickedness!" Really relate to that . Thanks for sharing !....had a great read

[sinNsincerity]

I'm really stoked that you got that out of it Guy!
I wrote this after feeling judged and scrutinized for so long and for me to say, yea, I am those things, but at least I have the audacity to admit it all and be brutally honest to myself...
Afterwards, it didn't matter what others think or say. And obviously, I'm only human. Somethings are going to hurt from time to time to time, but I know I'll be alright in the end...

[guy drori]

It was my pleasure reading it ;) and I agree with you... sometimes no matter how much we get hurt we are eventually back on our feet, standing. I also do believe that being honest with yourself is one of the most important things.

[B]

Filled with truth

You are not alone

But what if there was more

What if this distance was meant to birth something else

something new and good for you

Like a beautiful piece of poetry

Or an invention of some sort

Great minds came out of seclusion

Read about the inventors across time

They expressed disdain with the world

And instead created something else

an invention

like the one above my friend

[sinNsincerity]

It's funny that you say that because that very true and I was very secluded for a long while when I produced this piece. I part of me loves to isolate from the world.
Thank you again for reading.

[B]

Chapeau Monsieur

[Jamestown]

Another great piece! I like how you express your writing as a need as
therapeutic, so many will relate with this:) I again enjoyed the layers
you show and the unique word play, thanks for sharing and by the
way, what do you think sheep count when they sleep? LMAO, PTL!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank James, You're the man!

[~]

This almost sounds like the lyrics of a song. A song of showing the other who you are and why you want to remain that way. Keep up the good work. :)

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much! All I want to do show every one who I am as brutally honest as I can. Thank for reading =D

[AYVID N]

There is so much restlessness of the soul. It is okay to be bad till the need to feel good comes from within and for love. Love is a two-edged sword bringing the best or the beast in us. I hope you regain your faith in life and love soon. Very well written and expressed Sin.

[sinNsincerity]

I appreciate it Divya. Thank you for caring and spending the time to read. =D

[Melinda McQueen]

I enjoyed this. It was a glimpse into your mind, your feelings.

A good write.
Thanks for sharing.

[sinNsincerity]

I'm so glad that you enjoyed it Melinda. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and leaving a note!

[ANTO]

There is wit and faith and hope throughout this Sin.
The writing is obviously therapeutic so never stop.

You always have gems - Easter eggs - like those in video games, in your writing. One read is never enough.
For example - "I lost myself trying to find myself.
No distance..." - a WOW! moment. Cool write Sin.
:))

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you so much Anto. It is very therapeutic for me and I'm happy you enjoyed it!