We are all in the here and now, so we can’t escape it.
The what?
The now!
There’re are two groups of listeners: the ones that believe that there’s less time passed in front of them than more time behind.
There are others thinking the future is greater than the past.
Time will pass and as I’m thinking this, time is passing...
Infinite ages.
The activity is redeeming the time.
Here’s the world and we’re taking something from it.
It’s afforded to you and me.
I’m separating time and eternity.
I’m taking time from eternity.
There’s something more to this and I’m not being unwise to the words.
I’m using the time and ceasing the time.
The days are evil and yet still nothing has changed.
We make our own interpretations, but there is a will and here’s a reason for this meaning.
What is my life about?
We all ask this.
Am I redeeming the time?
Am I making it count?
I’m not living to live out the time, but to reach in the world for myself, so that I can reach out to others with the hope that one day I can make a difference.
Without using force, would you listen?
Only if I want you to.
I do have something to do.
What do we need to be saved?
The truth is simple, just believe!
There was a wake-up call and a witness.
It’s so overwhelming because I’m wanting to share without being obnoxious.
Shame and embarrassment are the works of the devil.
Formulating and ceasing the opportunity.
There’s acknowledgement of my own purpose in this time of eternity.
I’m reaching into time for eternities own sake and I’m not waiting because there is no perfect moment, just the now!
There’s something for you to hear.
Would you listen?
Only with the given ability of the known God that many refuse.
Can you relate?
Are you listening?
I have a darken mind, but I can’t always hide the light in my chest under a chair.
It will still illuminate what is to be known and that’s the truth.
I can’t buy back my yesterday’s, but I can write my own history.
I am not ashamed, so I’m reaching into the world and touching those that do not understand.
I know where I am.
Do you?
I’m not concerned with those that boast and hate me because I’m finding my own way.
This is what I have and my history starts every day.
I will travel through the thorns and darkness and I don’t want to be the same!
An interesting piece, with some thought provoking phrases and observations. But, there were also some lines that had me scratching my head.
The initial focus on time I felt worked, and I felt your transition from it also worked.
That said, I have some observations and feedback. Do with it as you will.
The word "and" in the second line might be unnecessary. Suspect it to be more a matter of preference in this case, but I find the flow works a little better. At least in my read.
In the fourth line, the tail end "time exist" is a bit wonky. It seems to mean little in context of the set up, and makes me think you meant to have it say "exist in time."
In the eighth line, I'm not sure I follow the word choice behind "listeners." Thinkers, as used in a line a little further beyond (the tenth or eleventh), seems to serve better. Though, ultimately, I believe the word "thinking" might serve better considering where the piece seems to go.
I have one point with the following line: "I have a darken mind, but I can’t always hide the light in my chest under a chair." The word "darken" should probably be "darkened" considering the functioning tense.
Interesting, inspiring, philosophical. So, yes, this made me think. That's really true how we can't escape the Now and have to live it the best we can. It was only recently that I saw how much truth was in the saying that the most precious thing you can ever give someone is your time. Also brought to mind something I once wrote, Every moment being subtracted from the future and added to the past. The present is only really momentary. Well, I really like how you picture eternity here, like a cake infinitely large from which bites of time are taken by us, haha yumm. You make one think about how much of a sin it will be to waste this life we've been given. This piece of work of yours shall surpass time, provoking thought in those who shall read this ages hence, after you and me. Great write, Sin!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for thinking so Rana. This means so much, you're really amazing for that!
And you a.. read moreThank you for thinking so Rana. This means so much, you're really amazing for that!
And you are very right in your discovery, the time you give to someone and receive is precious to the fullest and I have also learned to appreciate that. It's the little things...
This piece is indeed thought provoking, but it leans a bit too far into the realm of religiosity and I don't feel qualified to comment very well on that subject matter. Your writing is wonderful. take care...dan
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
It's apart of who I am and that's why I say that I'm wanting to share without being obnoxious... read moreIt's apart of who I am and that's why I say that I'm wanting to share without being obnoxious...
God and religion is very important to me and is the center piece of my life. I don't always uphold my faith to perfection, but it's all about growth with me...
wow you are on a roll my friend...i have read it several time and each time i get goosebumps,
What is life all about? a question we all ask, i think its about finding your won truth, giving back not taking and Learning ..constantly learning ...
To make a difference even in just ones persons life ...yes that would be something!!
loved this SweetSin really loved this!!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Sereena! This is where my heart is at the majority of the time... =D
Powerful and good words. I like the reason and the purpose for the poem.
"I can’t buy back my yesterday’s, but I can write my own history.
I am not ashamed, so I’m reaching into the world and touching those that do not understand.
I know where I am.
Do you?"
I like poetry that ask question and share wisdom. This poem did. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you man! That's what it's all about. To give back, not wanting anything in return, and simply .. read moreThank you man! That's what it's all about. To give back, not wanting anything in return, and simply not boasting about it. I just want people to feel good about themselves because it was really hard for me to once upon a time ago. Like you said it's always good to ask the readers questions, not such in a manner where I want to influence their thinking, but just be that catalyst that will get them thinking about something else and get them out of their comfort zone, so that they may explore a tad bit.
Thank you for reading!
Wow! You are hitting homers of late my brother!
Your poetry is always on the top of my list but I
have read a few of late that have had me mesmerized!
Keep up the great work and b-blessed!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
That Barry Bonds baby! lol
Thank you bro that means a lot to me.
you have a deep mind! need I really say more...
I love that about your writing. you don't just put words together, It's as if they just come out, naturally. I can understand and relate. a PERSON THINKING WAY TOO MUCH, :) you will always write something meaningful, you simply just can't help it. it's in you.. great work
Yep, your're absolutely right. I never write just to do it because it wouldn't mean anything to me a.. read moreYep, your're absolutely right. I never write just to do it because it wouldn't mean anything to me and probably would be full of s**t... It's sort of like a bad habit that comes and goes, but I still need it to keep going... I don't know, it totally is me always thinking too much and surly I can't help that. That's what all the vices are for I guess.
9 Years Ago
:) trust me I completely understand. It's a gift for the most special at heart .. At times it doesn'.. read more:) trust me I completely understand. It's a gift for the most special at heart .. At times it doesn't seem so but when it matters most, you realize just how special it is to be gifted with words.
Wow, very nice write! Beautifully penned. you drew me in from start to finish, it felt almost hypnotic-like. Look forward to reading more of your work :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much Niyia. I'm glad you enjoyed it and read on! =D