Beyond Me

They say life can be unpredictable, but it gets more unpredictable for two young man, who mysteriously swap into each others lives.

This is a story about a no ordinary man living an ordinary life.  He has just turned 25 and his life is really what you wouldn't wish for;  Bank account has a round alphabet,  his love life is a fairytale in his dreams and in reality its a nightmare,  he was dumped 24 months ago and he is still moaning,  every morning.  Lets not talk about his job it can literally ruin your day imagining the feeling, stupid boss who thinks he is smart,  colleagues that talk more nonsense than Trump.  Yes,  this is a story about a young man and his name is Dirt.  

On a cold sunday winters night,  plastic bag noises from the neighbour room,  noisy neighbour talking about how good the KFC tastes,  Dirt is just in his room looking at how dirty it is but he can't clean because he is so hungry and the KFC smell is just making it worse,  "Oh f**k why didn't I just close the windows from the very first smell I inhaled"  he said as he struggle to lift his bones up from his bed.   Dirt had a 100 dollars and he was hungry, the great smell of KFC declared war to rise his appetite.   "If I spend this money I will have no cab money for this week"  he said unto to himself,  and his boss put him on a last warning last week for deliberate absenteeism and late coming.  

After a long mental conversation,  he decides to keep his job and save the 100 dollars for work.  He takes his remote control and turns his television on,  and there was an advertisement,  and he just got it right on time as it was only getting started,  it was a KFC commercial... "Fffffff,  f**k it,  f**k it,  f**k it, f*****g fuckers... f**k the boss when he fires my a*s"  he said with so much energy as he stood up and grabbed his keys and wallet out he was at the door.  

After 20 minutes he was licking his fingers at KFC and putting the left-overs in the trash,  " Oh s**t I fucked up",  that was his aha moment, it was 22:00 and he was still stuck at the mall,  trying to get a cab back home with a 10 Namibian Dollars in his pocket.  Monday is tomorrow and someone doesn't have cab back home.  

After another 20 minutes,  he was in his blankets stressing on his job.  "How could hunger betray me!!!"  On his pillow fussing,  sweating even the food he just take was being used up by the body so fast he was hungry again in just another 30 minute.  He could still hear the neighbors talking about how the pizza taste so good.  

As he laid in bed he said "let tomorrow fix itself,  for I have fixed today."  Instantly he disappeared,  and appeared in the most beautiful room he has ever seen. There was a Samsung television, he didn't know how many inches but it was curved and very big;  he felt his body so relaxed,  the bed and the sheets where soft and sponge like,  it gave him a feeling of being massaged without hands.  He slightly turned his neck and just beside his bed,  there was a large chunk of money on the table, eyes wide open,  he had never seen so much money in real life in one place apart from when ATMs are empty and the bank people come to fill it.   He said "O s**t,  I have to take some of that,  I have cab money for tomorrow"  excitedly,  but something was wrong "where am I, how did I get here,  whose house am I in? Jesus!!!,  whats happening"  he asks himself and then the door slowly opened. 

He could only see the shadows that where about to come in.  He hears a deep male voice say "I wanted to tell the boss that we found him,"  Dirt begins to shake,  oh my god I am in trouble he thought.  A lady responded "okay,  I will just tell the boss I don't think it is right for the both of us to go in."  The door opens wide  and  a blonde beautiful young lady lady walks in,  "good morning boss" she says,  Dirt doesn't  respond,  the lady repeats herself "good morning boss" Dirt confused he responds "Me,  Boss,  Good morning"  "yes,  good morning,  sir" she says.  Oh,  sorry I said Me,  Boss,  Good Morning"  he apologizes looking very confused.  She responds and say "no need to apologize,  Mr Clean,  you always say that.  Eyes wide open am not Clean am Dirt"  He says.  The lady replied "no I don't mean it that way sir,  we will prepare your bathtub right now."  "

No no no,  I also don't mean it like that,  I mean my name is Dirt and I am not Clean"  He says.  The lady responds "Oh don't be sarcastic again sir,  you know morning laughter brightens up my day"  an ID card was just on the table and she took it and passed it to him,  and she said "Incase you want me to remind you how clean you are."  He takes the ID and then,  there was his face,  just as it is on his ID but something was different instead of Dirt Robert it read Clean Robert.  Dirt or Maybe Clean looked totally surprised.  

Where the f**k am I says Mr Clean,  he just woke up in a dirty little room,  and he looks confused as f**k.  "Where am I? "  as he finished those words a sumsang pocket begins to ring,  on the screen it reads stupid boss.  Very shocked in a ridiculous way "ouch what am I doing next to a  Samsung whatever version,  and who is stupid boss" he says in annoying voice.  Because he doesn't know who he is he decides to pick up,  in hope he might find out how he ended up sleeping on a bed in a ghetto.  

Mr Clean: Hallo may I know whose this?

Caller:   its your boss

Mr Clean:   What the f**k I don't have a boss

Caller:   Yes you are right,  because you are fired Dirt.  

Mr Clean:   No am Clean

Author's Note

I know Grammar and tenses are a mess, tell me what you think, your input will be highly appreciated. Thank you