Rachel's Choice

Inspired by Rachel Rafter in the episode "All in the Planning" of Packed to the Rafters

I thought it was over,
My life,
With him.
I wanted nothing,
Nothing more,
To do with him.
He lied,
He hurt me,
He lost me.
But now,
What can I do?
I want to know,
But then,
I don't.
It would make it,
Make it all,
Real.

I didn't want it to be,
But I needed to know.
And when I did,
When I finally,
Knew.
I cried.
I mourned the loss,
Loss of my,
Independence,
of myself,
And of my life.

No one understood,
They probably never could,
But the choice was there,
And it was mine,
Mine to make.

To keep it,
Would be the end,
My life,
Would never be,
What I'd always hoped.
I'd be stuck to him,
The one who hurt me,
He would always,
Always be there.

It had to stop,
I needed it,
To be over,
I needed to get,
Myself back.
And so I chose.
The one choice,
That they could not,
Could never understand.
And so I made another,
I chose
To tell a lie,
But it was mine,
Mine to tell.

I thought it would be over,
Once I'd made my choice,
But I was wrong,
I wanted to walk away,
Believing it was over,
But it wasn't,
It will never be.
It was,
It was a part,
Of me.
And it will,
Always be,
In my memory.

I lied,
I left,
I chose.
And now,
What shall I do?
I'm not sorry,
Nor ashamed,
But still,
I can't forget,
I won't forget.
I made a choice,
The right one,
For me.

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