Chousing Karoake!!

A tune of tricked way of life.. A collab by Sindu and Pushkar Prabhat..

Planets move in elleptical beauty

seasons, sun and moons;

birds flew, animals grew;

life's rhythm drifting 

in the same old groove.

Here comes the story, 

much cut-and-dry.

Bit by bit, clockwise scaled:

Mandatory schematic:

With a choice, but vague;

Like a rigged roulette.

Discrete indulgence,

taken crazy measures;

built up a routine,

adored or abhorred.

The prized disgust;

Of guilty, habits:

Unnecessary accessory,

Like jewellery for jewellery.

Pointless, thoughtless,

Yet, like innate reflex.

Along with the sun

and by the moon ,

tracing the smile

with a frown, bittersweet;

manuvering like a nutcase

at a neck- break pace!

Liberation!

we all demand.

we all dream:

to break away.....

Away, away....

that's a nightmare!

Measuring ones worth in 

zeroes and digits tearable;

dipping in this morose melody,

hoping to keep up with the time:

procrastination, here it comes! 

Time!! 

What time!? 

A complaint at every move.. 

Stop!

move forward;

and take control.

just maintain a pace:

and commit to the role.

'coz 

wink of a crack 

is all it takes

to breach the daze 

of this methodical maze.

Author's Note

This is a poem put togetherby Pushkar and I.
Review away!

Reviews

[R Smith]

I see the beauty of the planets whirling in space matched against the hopelessness of life in the mundane world where accessories mean more than love and compassion, we want to break free, escape the materialism and move on coz yes a wink of a crack and we see the maze that confines us within the boundaries set by social demands, escape is there, just look through the veil, thank you Sindu and Pushkar :)

[Sindu]

We thank you Richard! That was a brilliant review and you hit the point across! :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome Richard and thank you so much for appreciating!!! :) :)

[Eleanor]

Thank you for the RR :) You two did a great job! Though there are a few mistakes the phrasing is great. And well Alliteration is my personal favourite :p :)

[Sindu]

Thank you for the review :) Do point them out..

[Eleanor]

There were a few. Like the ones April mentioned. But you have corrected them :)
So its perfect now :)

[Sindu]

Alright then. That's great :)

[Gurleen Saluja]

It is a good collaboration. But I somewhere found errors in the first stanza. The second line should have seasons, sun and moon rather than seasons, suns and moons.. Also birds flew, animals grew these are not exemplifying the situation properly.
But above all unidentical write. Thanks for sharing ;)

[Sindu]

Thanks Saluja! The planets and their routine is being considered so, moons.
About animals and birds; their lives all move on in built procedure, the migration and with the time, evolution. That is what insinuated.

[Gurleen Saluja]

Okay.. A deep one indeed! :)

[Sindu]

Yupp :D
Hope it works now?

[Gurleen Saluja]

Hehe yeah :)

[Sindu]

Awesome :)

[Sanjh]

Well done you guys, it's wonderful. The thought process behind this is so smooth. Love the way it ended...:)

[Sindu]

Thanks a lot Sanjh for your kind review :) !!

[Sanjh]

you are welcome...:)

[AprilRN1210]

First off, I would like to say thank you for the RR my friend.. awesome collab you two!.. it flows beautifully and feels like one seamless voice throughout!.. I love the word play in this one.. alliteration dances on the page (my weakness).. the phrasing is exquisite and made me wish I had come up with a few of the lines myself!.. "unnecessary accessory".. love that!..

one small thing I noticed..
"lifes rythym".. think you need an apostrophe here.. and think you mean "rhythm"..

really enjoyed this!..awesome writing:)

[Sindu]

Thanks a lot April! Love your work! :D
We had fun putting this up. I will fix it :)

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome, it was my pleasure, glad I could help.. and thank you :)

[Sindu]

Means a lot coming from you :D cheers!! Oh and anytime April!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much April.........!! you often do collabs and they are amazing.......i really wanted to try it once and as it turns out, collabs are so much fun but also super difficult..........So glad you enjoyed!!! thank you again! :) :)

[AprilRN1210]

That they are.. You are more than welcome my friend:)
And thank you.. You are so sweet!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

........:) :D :D