The Bay

Trying to do a Villanelle. It''s as hard as it looks.

Wake up to a bright day,

Surely you'll see something;

Maybe even the bay.

The movement of the bay,

Is steady with no wind;

What a horrible way to begin month of May.

As children's laughter is all you'll hear today,

That's a sign of hope;

For that poor bay.

People have done worse to that bay,

Litter with no care;

That's why their cleaning it up today.

Thank goodness for today,

When everyone is caring;

That tearing dock needed fixing on that little bay.

Now everyone can stay in the bay,

For it's getting darker now,

Thank goodness for today,

I'll never forget this wonderful month of May. 

Author's Note

What do you think of this Villanelle?

Reviews

[JenLyn]

This is cute, I would have liked to have seen more imagery in it though. The flow is nice and there is no forced rhyme, but you may want to change the first line from "Wake up one morning that is as light as day." It's kind of an oxymoron because the day is always light. So why don't you try "Wake up one morning to a bright day." It helps to you give you a bit of better imagery IMO because you're describing the day as bright and sunny and your readers will see that. Overall the poem was cute and good, the last line really wraps the entire poem up. Thanks for posting it, keep it up! :)

[Wolfwind Words]

i found the piece to have good flow and it's theme read like something one might find in a childrens story book. In it's own way, it teaches us about the importance of keeping those area's around us, that we cherrish, clean. I enjoy poetry, that not only takes us on a journey in time, but teaches a lesson as well.
Great Work!
Aaron Wolfie Maycroft