Clean

I don't know it just popped up in my head

Well clean means alot,

There is clean mind,

Clean soul,

Clean house,

Mostly clean everything,

But why can't there be a clean life,

I mean everyone has days,

But many live through those days,

Everyday of their life,

You know that doesn't rock,

It sucks actually,

I would know,

You know,

When the darkness comes,

You start to fight among the dead,

Trying to fight those voices in your head,

As you cry your pain away,

Many people sit,

Not thinking about the fact,

That that can also happen to them too,

If only the darkness can die,

People don't understand,

The darkness takes the mind,

Then there soul,

Try to set yourself free,

But you think it's to late,

Just try,

Keep this in your head,

Just be free,

Of the evil,

And the chains holding you and me,

Just be free.

Reviews

[JenLyn]

I like the meaning of the poem but there is a problem with the flow and rhyme, and I think I saw a few typos. But I love what you're saying, it's very creative, maybe do a re-write to polish it a bit and see what you come up with. Your writing is very honest and raw, I like that but sometimes we get so caught up in emotions that we forget some of the "so called rules of poetry" IMO a poem can be anything, you can rhyme every word or use free verse it shouldn't matter but unfortunately there are people called critics that will rip every piece of your poetry apart and that's what you have to be ready for, you have to have thick skin (which I believe you do by the way you write.) But I like said try to polish it a little maybe break it up into stanzas and see how that works for you. Looking forward to reading more from you. Keep it up girly! :)