Simon: Chapter One

The rain hurtled towards the truck, trying to smash the windows. Simon glanced contemptuously at the other passengers. Faceless, every one of them. He felt sick just looking at them, their plain, copied movements, every one biologically engineered to appease. He was reminded of a company who made computers, mp3 players, tablets, etc. Every piece of hardware was perfectly ergonomically designed to pacify. The casing was almost always a peaceful, soothing white. This was the other passengers. Each had a look of complete calm, spoke without elaboration or excitement, moved without a trace of panic. Though theoretically having individual purposes, they were identical.

They think somebody's coming to save them, he mused.

They passed another torn up piece of concrete the size of an elephant. It could have been a block of flats, a prison, a hospital, it didn't matter. Everywhere, the debris of humanity littered the landscape, as though the earth were rejecting it, like a dog shaking off fleas. The fleas have bitten away at their home too much. 

Simon reflected on the inevitability of this small apocalypse. It was humanity's destructive nature that caused this, he told himself. It was not his fault. He merely introduced a catalyst. 

He told himself that over and over while the wind tried to throw the truck into the trees and the branches threatened to beat their way through the truck's armour. 

Reviews

[Different Wings]

IT's really intriguing, and I love the comparison. I think it's worth drawing out more: keep all the good description, but leave some room for dialogue, action, pacing. I can't wait to see where this is going!

[Ben Taylor]

ARGH WHY IS THE NEXT CHAPTER UNPUBLISHED.

[Ben Taylor]

So descriptive. I want more. So much more. "like a dog shaking off fleas". I loved that. You're doing an excellent job of subtly injecting information into these wonderfully described scenes.

[Skoo.]

Hehe thank you :D I'll try to get round to writing more, but I'm lazy xD

[Ben Taylor]

Publish Day 13. Please. :|

[Skoo.]

Sorry, sorry, sorry xD I'm getting to it, promise!
I just wanna make sure I have stuff after that written as well, to try and get a bit of continuity in there d:

[Ben Taylor]

Oh well you should probably just write a lot more of this then.
Just do it now.
Everything else can wait.

[Skoo.]

Well I was thinking about it when I was cycling home from work, and I think if I get writing now and don't stop for an hour I should be able to get Day 13 published either tonight or tomorrow night d:

[Ben Taylor]

:D I approve.

[Skoo.]

It's published d: But it's only little. Hopefully I'll be able to do Day 27 this evening as well.