SixTeen Blue Roses

A rose each day.

Left by my door.

He says he loves me.

More and more.

 

Sixteen blue roses.

For the age that we met.

He says that I'm special.

That I'm his little pet.

 

Everyday, a new rose.

Each glowing in the light.

A feeling that hurts me.

A feeling that haunts me in the night.

 

My mind grows weary.

I feel quite ill.

My heart starts breaking.

As the thought lasts, still.

 

I start to wonder.

Why aren't the roses red?

Finally knowing the truth.

The love I only dreamed of is DEAD..

Author's Note

Ignore Grammer

Reviews

[Lexi Nicole]

Very good work, the ending of this piece hits hard. Nice structure, good rhythm, and I love the imagery of a bouquet of sixteen blue roses lonely on someones front step. The only thing I didn't like in this was the lines "He says that I'm special/That I'm his little pet". It might just be a personal preference, and if it is then don't let me push this on. Although pet is often a term of endearment, here it just seems like the speaker is nothing but a possession of the person they're talking about. Otherwise, though, this is a really great piece. Nice work!

-Howl

[__Flaw__]

Very good. This one was a great effort. It had structure, rhythm and a meaning to it. Nice job...
And there's just this tiny thing ....how about...
A feeling that hurts me.
A feeling that haunts me in the night.

Instead of repeating the "A feeling" again, i guess it would do better without it...
A feeling that hurts me.
And haunts me in the night.

Just some mumbo jumbo from my end. U can ignore it. Anyways... cares :)))

[John A Common]

Its very good. I dig the ending to.