The Hawk's Song

A song about loyalty.

On a cliff I stand watching you
Inside your car moving so fast
My brown large eyes had grew
Utah's desert we should last

I fly around this place
As I follow you everywhere
A bird's charm face
At you only I have to stare

Now I spread my wings and fly
Onto your shoulders my love

I am your bird forever and free
The sun shines on our lives
This pride within you and me
So, we could throw away these knives

Now I spread my wings and fly
Onto your shoulders my love

(Solo 1)

I scream and I fly towards you
You are faithful to me
Forever I shall remain yours
Forever and ever and ever I will fly
For you

(Solo 2)

Now I spread my wings and fly
Onto your shoulders my love

Now I spread my wings and fly
Onto your shoulders my love

Now I spread my wings and fly
Onto your shoulders my love
Forever and ever and ever I will fly
For you

Reviews

[T]

I would be interested in hearing this put to music. Nicely done.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Your images, metaphors and poetry are top-class, you're a very clever and skilled visionary. However, some of the rhyming is very clunky and awkward. This is okay because rhyming is hard, particularly when you're trying to level out the rhythm for song. It just needs some working on. That's my only criticism- otherwise, again this is a lovely piece that's really full of life! Well done!