Bernice Pt. 3

continuation

Anyways we're at the mall now. The ride to the mall was like an abrupt dream. I recall it. Dee talking to Mom. Artemis and her huntresses in a silver chariot minivan. Then they were talking about eye make-up. I wear green blue or purple eyeshadow sometimes. Dee likes make-up a lot. She has a passion for it. lip gloss mascara blush eyeshadow concealer. 

I was afraid I was talking so much and being annoying so I stopped.

We're there now and the lights in the ceiling seem white and sterile like your eyes are fading about to go dark if you keep them open too long. Hospital waiting room. Dee leaves to go to the bathroom. Mom goes to look at a new blouse she says. she prefers flowery tops and dresses. Mom is thin and petite is she watching her weight always or just not able to afford to eat enough leaves all she can for me. I look like her they always say sometimes.

I hate this place. full of snobby rich people and they have so much they just want more adding to a collection that can never be complete maybe I'm jealous though I would never be like them even if I had the chance. always more. they would tease you if they got the chance probably are talking about you right now. whispering judging. 

I walk around dazed stoned sometimes seeing my reflection in the mirrored pillars what are they there for anyway to look at yourself in or watch for shoplifters or something time seems to be slowed as I walk like I'm sleepwalking around the people moving mannequins it seems they are as faceless as the mannequins advertisements in a foreign language I see myself in a pillar I look wide eyed and pale paler than usual but it must be this hospital lighting the clothing and possessions around me seem useless decorations and vanities the people seem soulless as the mannequins just dummies propped up and dressed by some force that brought them to motion in the first place

escalator up perilously standing with my feet together not barefoot now wearing ballet flats decided it may be best to go back down they may be looking for me

go past the shoe aisles and see my feet in the mirrors along the floorboards look into another mirrored stalagmite see myself I look like Leela with my hair this color I'm wearing a flowery dress today one of Mom's the light my eyes are rounding in a circadian rhythm light dark light dark in waves heartbeat is more prominent how long have we been here anyways I felt like I was spinning on a tilt a whirl I am peculiar wondering curious wide eyed pale thin 

and mom picked out a cheap seashell bracelet for me and it reminded me of the one I had tried to steal and then I was worried someone may recognize me from all those years ago they didn't and we're out of the store now with Dee what took her so long I wonder if Mom knows what we did before we came here. I put it on. We're at home now. 

Some kids at school like to huff. That's like the skeeziest thing I can think of. You'd never catch me doing anything like that. 

Dee is sleeping over tonight. Mom is going to bed. We like to stay up outside.