A story written in rhyme

this is a work in progress... hope its not too full on......my fragile flowers.... x) ❤.

this is a fkn work in progress... hope its not to full on......my fragile flowers.... x) still editing .... gonna take ages to finish this one... was only keeping it for some....but f**k it...sometimes people dont let out whats not meant to be inside.... some people are really good at it i emplore that you stop living second to others... good people need to stop killing themselves because of the weak. itll only make them stronger.

Part one. My anxiety

the perfect reminder.

find the right type of the right light to find the right line from

brighter sights that takes you to them

the true wizards the keepers of secrets the altruistic and wise they take you on new missions

redefining new trends within em your intentions

taking minds

breaking them to redesign

a new type of true refine

of a kind called the right type that you might find

you like

just might find the right shine

sight the highlights

define

true lines

that you can confide comfortably inside

invisibly devised guidance light the way

holding us all together

while individually

leave us divided, on your own still complete.

life ready to defend their right for living.. life...no longer frightened...mostly calm.....enlightened.. I have come to decide iv made peace with mine ive seen what i needed having been deep ....inside....

....its steep once you get to a certain point...you cant see from passed bellow your feet put on equipment even though it is only a figment safety first before an immense rift slowly abseiling listfully

into the recess sifting through trauma my brain has defended defeated or hidden still the strongest are left within amidst such dark in the descended far regions,

where, my demons i will find them where they lie, what it is that feeds them and all that stands in the way of my own willingness to live my life,

my deserved freedom though pushing through what feels an endless wake in which i am forever falling further asleep...breaking to bits from feelings of not being grounded ...not quite alive.....just suspended...completely lost in a vast conundrum taunting me all this.... all of my own invention

as the deeper i go.... starting to remember.......ive...been here...and yet ....im lost....even more so......i forget how exactly..... although I see this place...and i know ..........i have before been here....thought. ... . im able to make no distinction

.....no solid memories to define the last time this space existed...in real life let alone inside my mind.... these feelings, which I cant help but saturate in obsession... possess me as they grow.... Hopefully i can find some connection...just a clue with memories...left thoughts....familiar smells

leading to sounds emotions

when all lifes steps are finally seeming to be making sense

found life finding whats concise alive and rife with relevance, leading with them makes possible for your thoughts to travel inline with others instead of finding peoples company, even thought you really wanna be with them hug them, with all that i can at my disposal, you cant and you suffer, when all of your worth and whats left of your purpose finally calls your brain just to say 'your living life because you deserve this' communication

with others alll of a sudden.... once again.....becomes

perfectly connected such a fluent exchange so calming having something to once again reaffirm person to person elation keeps the brain from starving once again. From

mind to mind just like celestial bodies passing kinetic energy over many light-years being connected when aligned over great distance, they pass energy between each other seamlessly across space just fine

So easily distracted amidst all the madmen and madness... takes having had them, the practice fact is that its likely that you need to learn to listen sometimes..not just how but what to listen to what to lead away from and what to follow...before you listen to anyone..know who isnt actually there, however much you may see them in the same place, let alone walking (if at all) or for the right reasons...

though people will try to be deceiving you can never quite know without knowing who it is that you should be believing...

when where what you might have told a fellow as he might ever so gingerly had he perhaps, asked me for information about say for instance, what times a person that they would be pretending to know, changes trains daily, as they had missed them just as they were boarding their train and its been so long that they almost once again strangers...and i just told them where they could find her daily, strangely enough not til much time later did it come across strangely, sad to say that most wouldnt at all especially the working class who sleep where they fall...Now i could have unwittingly aided in a potentially horrible eventuation as i gave a detailed explanation to strangers, of a women in this hypothetical, where everyday she catches the train at the same train station...without failing...the consequences of such a seemingly harmless exchange

i might have told them without knowing only because they let me. be the one who seemed was devilish and coy so now you see a skill most practiced is in his employ seek out take consume rape them of information then destroy, make a face a story a smile a space which takes your attention while hes expertly ignoring,

to pin point where in a conversation the start of a burning curiosity the exact moment it sparks a ploy most perfect to create such a farce this was his aptitude for play, with everyday people, his toy, though despite the potential repercussions most will have no cause for alarm as charm made it all worth while and often sometimes fun gifted with the the gab the mercantile silver tongue ... kept well hidden its hard to see because how ever genuine the progression his exchange in conversation it would seem was just as fluent and almost twice as keen.

when one feeds off of others whom they deem gullible a willingness to expect others to be just the same without any hidden agenda is not a weakness

humans have just lost what it is to be apart of the beating heart of existence such a feeling becoming one with all things not having a want nor needing for anything other then the knowledge that we are capable honest and can be appreciated by all the bits and things that we hold dear but of this they have forgotten, stuck hidden, wouldnt listen as they have forgotten how to live or perhaps something lives within them that they cant forgive what it is eluding them from their own lives abusing them refusing freedoms using the truths in their lie, with great ease for some it is to just say words whether to hurt hinder work or please though you are stuck then alone with your own thoughts once an adult of course almost certainly forever no friends nor solidarity no measure , such thoughts bring me great pleasure...that one day all in a painful waking realization.....i hope it breaks them... an epiphany so solid...it hits them in the back of the head....maybe they will wake then in the unforgiving hell to live with only

themselves these the white liars justified by pleasing only themselves while seemingly hearing others appearing only for selfish desires these the self serving crying such fudal lament left convoluted soon deranged they will pay with their sanity when eventually the brain finally catches up being all

WHAT THE F**K cant do that to your loved ones, brothers taking no grievance when lying to others...

the conscience sometimes takes longer to kick in then others and when that day comes i pray

youll be blessed

given a lesson to grow from rest of their lives i imagine with another perverted pathological liar....yes....how perfect....you guys can tell truths to each other until youv learnt your lessons forgive yourselves with a fitting punishment until something clicks...they both deserve it

at first i imagine they will be to each other like a sister or brother but slowly how well they know each other will make them bitter and twisted and suffer

both trying to breathe while being smothered labled a liar and being with one another to keep the truth from being uncovered leads to sleepless nights paranoid explosions i imagine you would have to comply with a

style of living knowing such a misguided devotion where the mechanism to lie for no purpose would start growing

they decide to hide from the world in a ball tightly curled..i wonder what parts they are reflecting

on forgiveness..... maybe atonement..... honestly i think they keep searching just for a single breath.....to be alone for a second away from their own conscious..if only for a moment...so then...lost broken....waking each day wanting to go back to sleep where at least there dreams still leave them hope....

hard to believe thats where some choose to be when its easy to be honest .....freedom is there for most who want it.....find it all with a walk in a straight line a proud stride to find a world of anyone's own design but how is this true, how could it be, hard to believe seeing and believe as such is that in which such a place was conceived

every time those who find the silver lining when it catches an eye..so long they see it..... the reactions are always the same... not cautious oh contrare finding quite a sense of intrigue...much curiosity ...mostly baffled entirely actually ... such disbelief having not known how much of a most, a such, a much, a place this is let alone that it even exist

freed always is an honest person as the voice which they converse with inside are on the same team in the same frame of mind with the path that leeds us to the world feeds us those hurled unto the world the perfect missing pieces and no,

no magic has or ever will we find falling upon us instead rather then expecting it to appear you have to envision sucha concept inside your head, if only to see that its just what youv had already what you got for free honesty is quite resounding and all that happened was we left you with your inner most ruminations that then becoming the creations around it all hums a perfect call astounding that your surroundings, where you belong.... have found you

freely exchanging at exactly the perfect moment it was waiting for you with the pieces to

your metaphorical puzzle and at least for a few seconds it seemed it was made just for you alone... bit random as these thoughts and things will happen....all the time....soon youll just get

used to the invisible machine that is possibility infinite synchronized nightmares and dreams truth honesty lives lived happily on top of the wind flying free on scores of abhorrent screams, beasts living every moment in pain until finally driven mad for them im almost glad they became insane as they unleash a "yessssss" most relieving, leaks out as they reach death maimed horribly as the light in their eyes is driven away warmth blew away still almost smiling in a final breath.

if god is, and for gods sake at least pretend,believe it to be the keeper of karma and all things we cant explain a being that controls what we observe as unseen magical forces we couldnt become to comprehend let alone all that is to see andd do all at once not in our wildest dreams this is the infinite variable the father and mother of free radicals pushed beyond the seems the ever astute convoluted and resolute the kids you didnt like growing up and the girls you thought were cute always on and off your team the ultimate contrarian Life, the immeasurable chaos machine it knows whether you lie or not where it is truly in your heart and mind that you wanna be and if you find it that place where your minds fits its because you followed through with your instincts and with the environment and its infinite rescources upon arrival you were already waiting for you to arrive of course

so easy to find your place in time

know that its gotta be the honesty your thoughts are projecting so your lifes memories filled with your own treasures to be

collecting this path brings

you closer to yourself, have faith that its incepting

your own course by Accepting who you might be your relavence the evidence is in your surroundings with your sub conscious finally feeling found, not only the best thing its a fact that something that can be especially confronting when i loose myself and i need to be told by me and my

world around me, my truest friend surrounding one who wont hesitate to let me know how to make

the right decisions to give a slap to the face when im about to make some tidal collision and be sure that this each time without fail, always brings you closer, as each of these times have arisen more each time i pay attention and listen closing the invisible gap between us leaving me with a friend in wisdom and strength to keep going knowing the universe has got your back

So help my mind to find the path which leads to relevance to achieve answers hiddin, intuition to make you rich because as long as you

are true to yourself and what surrounds you, you will always be surrounded by your own thoughts and sympathies even your minds deepest secrets dont freak out about your truth dont stress this is just the

universes with its infinite filling system somewhat like a black hole breaking down

compounds and such into bits

convienientley puts them all in their own place so when you want more

or less of the same thing no matter whether your taking more or putting back

when you find new ones to mind they will if you let them find themselves in no time as they align so easy with no feelings to leave me feeling uneasy without ever needing

feeling better more and more often about life now im finding slowly my desicions are my own and im atop them

leaving with some new things to think about sprouting new wings with which to slink about as not my purchase nor my vision as any longer bound by height, truth , so move to prove right this the intuition a new type of

conviction bringing new things to excite for my new lifes new types of true sights and fruition

growing with more then a few delights shining new brightly lit lights

The design completed...finished and with me all the minds no longer do they need finding completely willing and ready to be back on the

right path fulfilling so ill be far from the want for needing when iv naught for a need nor

want, its wrong and greedy live the life to the max of what your life capacity can pack into a bag, build and dismantle... at the time it might be with a backpack with a skateboard tied with a soup pot and handle... everything beyond the essential is inconsequential

so be thankful as what ever might have been given when you did need and the world had something for you to take a gift dont be s**t... no matter how dingy it may seem if it has a purpose and it plays the bit you look up and also inside and with all of your pride and appreciation you say "....thanks universe....your skits"

consciously notice the personification as the inanimate take on life when everything starts be a part of everything...abiotic frequencies begin to tune in and you all of a sudden get indian radio over da wireless not meaning to be insensitive but their way of relating to these things is timeless.

keeps it interesting when telling stories to the young minds and thats where i imagine it acquired its very unique way of explaining

All life the colors within em that leave beautiful stains teaches us the exchanges of energy between living and non living entities inside of an ecosystem

so as i was saying...

we left it where we lost it

where it has no choices

its existence..pointless

wont convince wont affect my choices

not without a voice its not even competing

not even a tease it no longer can even squeeze

as its finally going away them and all the things that are voiced in the boisterous noises when im in a state of complete disarray

unable to make my own choices in constant debate left with having each time explain the same thing over and over again so many times in many different ways to different characters different choices different outcomes in a different place

inside my head when im unclear of the words i start to hear and i get just noises it leaves a vile taste that brings me quite annoyed to a confused vile place i once flipped out but with resolve i made myself no longer affraid a choice that i made so now i face them all and if i need

i embrace the fall so i can stand tall and feed all the choices that lead me to hoist make the choice to find the lift giving me strength furthermore as a gift left out of the mess learning lessons from all the important bits so when caught in its lies i can use my own trurth to rise above the fights inside my head so slowly im only gonna see the exciting new parts inside also in life around this beautiful planet we live on

just have to break free of some demons dont mind me as you might find me just attacking my rage that has

characterised itself into different personas dont be concerned ill be fine I'm just in a constant struggle with the battles that happen inside my mind... but with good friends and

much love and compassion the fights i have with these parts of myself with the wind at my heels im starting to win

findding i can actually smash them with both aggressive and psychologocal attacks left with naught but pride and a cheeky grin which keeps me sharp as i gotta keep the many shades of my mind especially when they angry on their toes out on their

feet... only shame is they get better at dancing when mine are the same born with two left feet ... xD ...i think society is to blame. lets find the new things to find open up and redesign kinds of perspectives to see a world from a new purchase to unferl new things to

learn that give wonderous time so as i grow fond of making bonds i know that from my new

found will to make me stronger as i start to bring enlightning things that drown out that

sounds inside which i find give to much life to too many thoughts though im getting better at keeping them confined at resisting the feelings from inside of my being that leave me unable to be present a place i find leaves me always quite frightened some times i find they still ring out

so loud as it hits my mind i find it starts to string me out it stings so i start to find a excruciating sensation shoots up my spine

but with patience and and a fearless approach when i face them iv found that i hear a

new sound that i can use to bring a new noise that i can compound harmony using my own toys my own steam reaffirms my feet with which i feel the ground in tune with my new life

storing all the good bits pouring all this s**t im finally ignoring what would try and hinder dont you dare I wont allow me to compete with myself inside my head never again no

longer will i have to fight a war against my own thoughts now because im taking control with new ambitions the few i know will fuse and grow as slowly all the things i chose to

flow through will start to grow start to please me and all those around with me will see my smile

appearing right on time as my minds free to be there whenever its needed to be i finally get it...lifes a gift and thats why they call it the present youl now see that this time

its all right its all me a tight squeeze but its done, hard to believe no longer letting the monsters inside be freed i wont let them use there efforts to build momentum led by a free mind confined to its own deluded perceptions trying to make

diffusion breaking apart parallels of nonsense comprised from non sequeter confused conclusions i read into such things that left me believing further into stupid inclusions made hard to breathe exasperated when my thinking got loud it became hard then to stand alone to hear my own voice plot its own course to see my own soughts sick and blind left stuck in a

battle of thoughts caught by battle ships reverse pcyhologically fired perfect hits cursed bits of my myself using my own logic but i fucked him as well when i fucked myself shocked especially when its myself i mocked i swear i had him i couldn't believe that I got beat by me really slowly im beginning once again to

know who i am and discern my own voice finally able to make deductions, and be my own friend making excecutuve decisions with out a need for being wary of trusting myself crying without realizing that without trying or internalizing for the first time beyond i can last recall i can stand tall and make my own choices

you gotta believe that you can leed

now i am in front no need for such caution

when brought into my presence

you can see on their faces the thoughts when your like me the un healthy sort even though now im mostly me

freed from myself mostly except sometimes i fall

i might creep up and scream and i almost cant handle them inside all the negativity all the creatures trying to let loose but i wont let them get the better of me..

leaves you somewhat free not much caring that im in public and i feel im about to errupt

i look like a madman a man going crazy and it is that exactly

i wont let them see it make me sad but inside it slays me

never a moment where there isnt a tone a voice that doesnt have some other opinion on where or why or what we should be doing to make a choice an internal battle of feelings and bad thoughts makes it

hard to believe and support the things inside myself a mad struggle to keep out all the stow aways the distortions but now that i have found and fought them all and I have come

back around, inside the depths i have found and brought forth reinforced supports made of stone and razor sharp iron wrought an impenetrable fort with me inside of myself inline with my own discourse

so again and again and even now i can have my own thoughts hold myself sain as i refrain from paying any time being my own team my own sheen the only shine upon which i

need in my mind freed for faught has brought me the support i needed making possible my narrow escape using all sorts of bombs slings arrows and taunts. anything to make heard the conviction

Iron resolve in my voice to help to make it all go away when now and then my minds fractured parts appear and pretend as they listen feeling in me my own emotions and approach me as friends

as now thoughts arent hell bent on destroying back from there i was sent and i brought bent from hell an alloy ill bring to be my ally to help me from the inside to destroy whats left of my once more then capable mind for in order to keep moving on i need to remember to BUILD ADAPT SURVIVE but instead these days alot of the time i can even see a smile looking back at me in the mirror which for me at least its been he longest mile as its been a long time a rarity only ever was seen every once and a while

Finally bringing it all back.

So i Can make MY OWN decisionsa

and make my own mind up about where I am at.

Author's Note

I wrote this along time ago. its a good piece.. but youll need to take some attempts to get it all in...put on a nice boombap instrumental.. put it on loop and enjoy

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

A long rambling self-adventuring thought. Certainly worthy of a second read, analysis and considerable thinking. My immediate impression is a question: are you including self in every thought or opinion with open honesty or because of the drama of thinking contrary thoughts now and again.. and again? Posts like yours need to be read, the effort to do so takes more than a fleeting glance, but why should people NOT read and 'listen' to see if - by the end or after a little thought - one might find this or that to agree upon.

' but with good friends and
much love and compassion the fights i have with these parts of myself with the wind at my heels im starting to win
findding i can actually smash them with both aggressive and psychologocal attacks left with naught but pride and a cheeky grin which keeps me sharp as i gotta keep the many shades of my mind especially when they angry on their toes out on their
feet... only shame is they get better at dancing when mine are the same born with two left feet ... xD ...i think society is to blame. lets find the new things to find open up and redesign kinds of perspectives to see a world from a new purchase to unferl new things to
learn that give wonderous time so as i grow fond of making bonds i know that from my new
found will to make me stronger as i start to bring enlightning things that.. '

Why not.. adventuring a meandering isn't harmful if one thinks and thinks yet more. Too easy to make instant decisions. That's the laziness of every day living: not time to spare for anything holding more than six words and takes more than six minutes to consider. Perhaps!

[Simbles]

This is a very old drapht

[Simbles]

I tried to find the final copy for you. Shame but but yes you pointed.out parts that I know I fixed. If I find it for you I'll keep you in mind :)

[Simbles]

In short. Yes I am including myself. Ultimately what you sympathise or relate to is yours alone. This is a story. Took along time to write