Getting under your skin

I saw your skin crawl

Like an ant farm has formed inside you

And I fear that they are eating away at you

From the inside out

And that some day they may break through your skin

Ripping you like the seems of a doll

And leaving you on the ground

 

Where you are nothing but your fist layer

Resembling the rind of the once red fruit

Whose juice poured out of your mouth

Like you and you entirety pour onto the floor

From the absence of the external you

 

That crawled away from you

At the hands of  the thousands and thousands of ants

That made your skin crawl

In the first place

Reviews

[Jason Henry]

"Where you are nothing but your fist layer

Resembling the rind of the once red fruit"--->awesome!

the whole poem is awesome! thanks for sharing...

[Emily B]

This is really creepy--visual and tangible and strong. Sharpen it. There is room to make the bites of those ants razor-sharp.

[Skippy]

Great job it can really hand out a visual idea of it happening. Keep it up!

[magic]

bad a*s subject matter/metaphor. loved it.

mat break through your skin

[peace SiGN./index DOWN.]

love the description and realness of your words.
the feeling.

[Hoshi Nami]

i liked it- it actually made MY skin crawl a little. but i couldn't really get one solid emotion from it-which is totally fine, but i wanted a little more than just description.

[Olivera]

This one's rather intense. I really love strong descriptions.

[KEENAMARiE]

very descriptive. keep it up.

[I love you; just not to..]

Wow. You did a good job on this. I love it. There so much Description

[lauren emily]

Very nice poem, very descriptive. Nice work!

Lauren