Blood Rose

Have you ever been told something that your mind wouldn’t let you believe but you knew in you heart that it was true? Well, that’s the story of my life. Hello, my name is Blood Rose and I’m here to tell you the you the truth about what really happened, not the story you have been told. I’m here to tell you the truth. The truth about what really happened.

It all started when my father moved us to a rainy town called Blue Rose. Now, I know what you are thinking, that is a weird name for a town, but it’s the one my dad moved us to when the divorce was final. My mom wanted nothing to do with us, even me. So I decided that I was going to live with my father. And he moved us to the worst town ever.

When we got there, some of dad’s old friends showed up and came by to say hello. I was up in my room when the hottest guy came up, bringing boxes of my things.

“Your father asked me if I could bring these up to you. Where do you want them?” I turned around and nearly fainted, he was so handsome.

“Just set them down by the door, I will get to them in a minute.”

“So, what’s your name?”

“What?”

“I asked what’s your name?”

“Oh, my name is Blood Rose. But my old friends called me Rose.” How on earth is there this hot of a guy in this terrible of a town? I had no clue.

“Do you mind if I just call you Rose?”

“It’s okay if you just call me Blood Rose. What’s your name?”

“My name is Jason. I live down the road from you. Would you like some help?”

“Pleasure to meet you Jason. Some help with what?” What is it about this guy that scares me? I just met him.

“Unpacking. Would you like some help unpacking?”

“Oh, um sure, thanks.”

“No problem. Is there certain boxes that you don’t want me to open?”

“Please avoid the ones that say private.”

“As you wish. So, um, what school are you going to?”

“Moonlight night school.”

“I go the the same school. Maybe I can show you around, help you find your classes.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“No problem, I don’t mind helping you find your classes. What grade are you in?”

“I’m a sophomore, and what grade are you in?”

“I’m a sophomore also. Most sophomores have the same classes, so if you know your classes, I can tell you which ones we have together.”

“Biology, p.e., study hall, choir, study hall, lunch, band, study hall, english.”

“I have the exact same classes. What is your locker number?”

“233”

“234. So if you want to, I guess that you can just follow me the whole day. Do you go to breakfast at school or at home?”

“Home, I don’t eat anything during the day. I only eat during the night. Are you allowed to bring you lunch?”

“Okay, well I usually eat breakfast at school. Same here. And yes, you are allowed to bring your lunch to school. And if you don’t want to eat what the school has planned for breakfast, you can also bring your breakfast to school.”

“Okay, then that’s what I will do. I will bring my lunch and breakfast to school everyday.”

As I look out the window, putting my curtains up, I notice the man from the blood bank, talking to my dad. I watch as my dad points up to my room and tells the man how to get up here. Oh, no. I can’t let Jason know my secret, we just met, we are becoming friends, and I don’t want to ruin that.

When the blood bank man comes up and into my room, I get a surprise.

“Mark, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, cousion, just dropping these papers by for a Miss Blood Rose.”

“That’s me.”

I sense, as Mark is handing me the papers, that Jason is watching me. I just hope that he doesn’t ask any questions.

“Thank you, Mark. I will drop them off tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

“Yes, that’s okay. Miss Arrow will be working all day tomorrow, so just take them to her and she will answer any questions that you might have. I’m sorry, Jason, but I have to go. I have 10 more places to stop by before 10. I will talk to you soon. Have a good day both of you.”

“Thank you.”

“So, I’m not going to ask anything about what just happened. But I do have a question.”

“What is your question?”

All I can think is that he is going to ask me what I am. I can’t tell anyone what I am. The last time I told someone what I am, something bad happened. I can’t allow that to happen again.

“Where did you come from?”

“My father, and I were living with my mother in the mountains. Until my parents got a divorce and my father and I moved here.”

“I see. Well, all the boxes are unpacked. Is there anything that you need from the truck?”

“Yes, I can get it.”

“I’ll help.”

What is it about this boy that just terrifies me? He smells funny also. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m a vampire.

“Thank you, Mark. I will drop them off tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

“Thank you.”

“So, I’m not going to ask anything about what just happened. But I do have a question.”

“What is your question?”

All I can think is that he is going to ask me what I am. I can’t tell anyone what I am. The last time I told someone what I am, something bad happened. I can’t allow that to happen again.

“Where did you come from?”

“My father, and I were living with my mother in the mountains. Until my parents got a divorce and my father and I moved here.”

“I see. Well, all the boxes are unpacked. Is there anything that you need from the truck?”

“Yes, I can get it.”

“I’ll help.”

What is it about this boy that just terrifies me? He smells funny also. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m a vampire.

next chapter

© 2016 Angel of the devil

Author's Note

this is almost all of chapter one. I will let you know when all of chapter 1 is on here. and if any of you are wondering if chapter 2 is done. no, i am in the process of writing chapter 2, but i will post what i do have done of chapter 2 on here. so please bear with me. thank you for your review. and thank you for your time.

My Review

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Featured Review

Coyote Poetry

A very good opening to the story. You create mystery, interesting character and many possibilities. I liked the characters and the story line. I wanted to read and know more. Thank you for sharing the excellent tale.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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8 Years Ago

thank you. i just finished adding the rest of chapter 1

8 Years Ago

I look forward to reading more and you are welcome.

8 Years Ago

i hopefully will be posting more of chapter 2 tm

Reviews

Kathy Van Kurin

Blood Rose,
What a smart and creative thing you are writing. Edge of the seat stuff! Keep it up. ............Kathy.

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

thank you very much!

Pink Pastel

Interesting pretty cool I like blood rose.

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

thank you very much!

8 Years Ago

your Welcome

M.R Steiner

you are already a master of dialogue, there's nothing that needs to be said about that. Your grasp of tags and modifies and believable wordage is far beyond anything I could muster.

please keep in mind that I am strictly an amateur and only dispense advice given to me in the first place.

some people may not appreciate a critique, I however feel it is the only way to grow as a writer. if you would like the rest looked over send me a message.

it was all still thoroughly enjoyable :)

o o
v v

Posted 8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

drive me insane that if you if leave anything other than a token review, you lose half your bloody r.. read more

8 Years Ago

thank you very much

M.R Steiner

hi there, well this is a solid foundation to build on, something tells me you've already edited it. I'm not sure but I think the last piece of dialogue and actions repeat at the end of the page, this may be due to an over-paste, (my usual issue) in terms of spelling I think there were a couple of mistakes but the only one that jumped out at me was cousion. (I have dyslexia so I find it hard to spot them in my own work)

now lets get into the story. In terms of setting it is well established. I have a decent knowledge of the location and the geography. While not too plot heavy it allows the reader to slip into your main characters life with ease. (an important aspect among female YA novels) this is obviously an influence you have a talent for replicating.

In terms of emotional involvement for the piece I feel Rose's apprehension over having her true nature being discovered. however in general feeling of the rest I found her involvement to be somewhat lacking. perhaps explaining more about how she feels moving to this town, unpacking her boxes as certain objects to symbolize her apprehension may be best, which brings me to my next point.

exposition is always useful but when it is delivered as left field as 'My mom wanted nothing to do with us' it becomes little more than a plot brick for your casual reader to trip over. perhaps show her unpacking and finding something of her mother's that gives credence to her mentioning it. e.g (The tape tore from the loose flaps of cardboard to show the beaten weathered doll my mother made all those years ago, as dull and worn out as her love me when we finally left)

Posted 8 Years Ago

Lord of mad men

it a great start to what seem like a great story. i enjoyed every word but i did kinda thought ahead so my mind told me what my happen but i am still going to to read the whole thing becuase i said may happen thank you.