Sometimes... And Always...

Sometimes I'm a little broken

Sometimes I'm a little lost

Sometimes I hear you say "I'm Sorry"

When sometimes I know you're really not

 

Sometimes I lie awake aching

Sometimes from pleasure... sometimes from pain

Sometimes all we are just isn't enough

When sometimes I know you feel the same

 

Sometimes I pretend I'm dreaming

Sometimes I pretend you're awake

Sometimes I think you can hear me screaming

When sometimes all you do is take

 

Sometimes I feel like running

Sometimes I brush silver tears from my eyes

Sometimes I fade, I'm rusted

When sometimes I feel love die

 

Yet sometimes is only sometimes

And there is an always that I find

A deep and constant connection

Colliding your soul with mine

 

In the moments when you claim me

You hold my breath in the palm of your hand

Proverbial knife between us slicing

A deeper cut to make us whole again

 

A journey, a challenge, a fantasy

Or simply the beginning of the end

Of days, or months, or years together

Or a lifetime we have yet to comprehend 

 

So take me as I am

Sometimes beautiful... sometimes flawed

Knowing always that I am yours...

One true, forever love

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Nice piece, and you have an intriguing concept. My one concern is that with all the repetition in the first four stanzas, it does seem to get a little stale before the reader can finish. It's just a little too much, I think. Either way, you've executed your idea well and your writing is very neat and clean, which I think helps to keep the reader going. Well done.

[SilverTearRusted]

Thanks for the feedback... I always appreciate perspectives. I write in moments and while I considered your thoughts after I wrote it, it felt almost perfect as that is the underlying emotion of what I felt. It was left meaning to be repetitive and to feel as if it is overwhelming in a sense before it breaks into something that revives and renews.