Baring the Timid Heart

I tried something a little different; each line has five syllables. I'm not entirely sure why I decided on five, but it ended up working perfectly for the last line. (In memory of Tony; 17 June, 2014)

It is quiet here;

You lie motionless.

I have come to give

My final farewell.

My heart is pounding;

I long to caress

Your face and curl up

Beside your still form.

Instead, I lean down

And whisper to you.

My heart cries fiercely,

"It is me, belov'd."

In comparison,

The words poured from my

Lips seem woefully

Inadequate; cheap.

As I gaze upon you,

Studying ev'ry

Infinite detail,

I finally gain

Courage to tell you

What my heart has felt.

Again, I lean down;

Drawing ever near.

I move, unhurried,

Until my face rests

Inches from your own.

With one more deep breath,

I close the small gap.

My lips touch your cheek;

Gently and with all

Form of tenderness.

You do not respond.

Yet I feel, somehow,

That you are aware.

After such time of

Tortuous ages,

I am finally

Able to bare my

Timid heart to you.

I tell you, for both

The first and last time,

"I love you so much."

Author's Note

Image by Cristel on DeviantArt

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

I love the gentle tenderness of your lovely art choice, Elina,
It sets the perfect moment and ambiance for what's to come.

Your metered Free Verse (a rare technique) works out beautifully in creating a smooth, even flow, seamlessly blending one line into the next. Your emotional imagery captured my heart and soul, as does the poignant sadness that grabbed the most sensitive parts of my feelings.

There is so much in this that speaks to me, and I want you to know the last seven lines brimmed my eyes to overflowing … how unjust to think a love so deeply felt and pure went unknown for so long, 'til it was too late; but, I think Tony had to have known.

Whomever said there is no beauty in sadness, never read this wonderfully rendered piece from your skillful pen and loving heart.
Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Elina]

Richard,
I must thank you for your lovely and thorough review. It warms my heart to know that this work has touched you so. I feel unworthy of your many compliments, but I thank you all-the-same.

[Richard🖌]

Elina,
You are most welcome for my thorough review; it is my contention a writer deserves (whatever their efforts may be) in equal measure of thought, discernment, and feeling(s).
This was the intent in my review, and not to compliment you undeservingly or overly unduly, but in equal measure to the quality and content of that which you've shared and earnestly earned in my mind's-eye.

Please, stop by sometime and partake of my humble little efforts … I'd like that very much.
Happy hugs 'n warmest blessings. ⁓ RJ 😊

[Chris]

Dealing with goodbye... is a rite of passage in our "becoming" whom we are.

[Saddam]

It drawing an image into mind and realized the fact.
Oh gosh! touching peace beloved poet.

[Elina]

Thank you very much.

[Tony]

Hmmm, so from a death a timid heart starts to blossom. From winter there is spring. That's kinda the feel i picked up. Evocative and thought provoking write-- thank you for sharing your work here:)

[Elina]

Thank you very much for your review.

[Relic]

I agree with Moonskittles, this is a very touching and personal poem the reader can't help but feel sad about. Great writing Elina.

[Elina]

Thank you very much for the review.

[Relic]

You're welcome

[~]

Oh, a melancholic good bye, that touches the heart of the reader.

[Elina]

Thank you for the review.

[Lizardo]

This is such a sad but beautiful poem
I did enjoyed a lot reading it and the emotion you put into it is good.
Awesome poem!

[Elina]

Thank you very much. I am glad you enjoyed it so well.

[Lizardo]

You're welcome!

[Clockwork]

Your elegy is tender and full of love for your beloved. The rhythm you used for your lines did work perfectly, especially in your last line. I am very glad you were able to share your feelings at the end. May he eternally rest in the kingdom of peace with a halo of light.

[Elina]

Thank you, my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Clockwork]

You're welcome.

[J Johnson III]

Very powerful. I want to know more.