My Home, My Life

I looked around with bliss

Dancing with nature beats

I almost feel the blessings

Of our Magnificent Creator

 

A sweet glowing sunshine

Tickle of playful atmosphere

Swing of dancing trees

And tweet of humming birds

 

I want to slumber,

In the bed of flowers

Filled with love and fragrance

Feels like I’m Home

 

I’ll do my best

To give in our nature

Of tender loving care

Has a supply of my life

 

Because,

We’re Forever Blessed

Author's Note

"My Home, My Life" is a christian based poem, which talks about creation of God and our nature.. i'm not portrait about religion.. but it is a move to preserve our home, has one of the source of life :) thanks for review :) ENJOY

Reviews

[Amata Luna]

Nice. :)) What can I say more? You've done well. And I'm glad with the way things in here flowed. ;)

[dan nacario]

wonderful poem..reminds me of all the wonderful things in life..

[Brittany]

I really enjoyed this one, rejoicing in the beauty of creation. Nice job.

[Poppie Mira]

Wow, what a marvelous write! Very well said....

[Mak Goalie]

how u can write such awesome piece of art..........

[Suditi]

A beautiful picture.
A beautiful poem.
The imagery works wonders here. The theme is outstanding.
Very well written :)

[Shy Girl]

I'd have to agree with most everyone down there...this was a nicely, peaceful piece. It gave somewhat of a bright ray to the soul. Thank you for the RR :)

[MoriartyMesa]

Little minor edits are needed, but this was over all very nice and charming.

[Amelie]

Hi just a few suggestions if you don't mind dear :)

I looked around with bliss
I look around with bliss (you might want to reconsider present perfect tense? it gives more impact and soul to the imagery of your piece)

Dancing with nature beats
While dancing to the nature's beat
(you might want to add a linking verb, you can also retain "nature beats" it's a good personification)

I almost feel the blessings
(maybe scratch "almost"? you can replace it with "can")

Nice job on the succeeding stanzas, you can maybe tweak the second to the last stanza a bit to harmonize the rest of the piece. Nonetheless, nice job you did in here, and oh, I'm Filipina too. Keep that amazing hand writing ;)

[Emrick]

its a beautiful poem.
il start plantin trees n il tell my friends to do that or soon God will take away his home from us.