There Again

A time of Depression for me

Heart beats faster

I swear they can hear

I know what im gonna do

 

Lowers blade to my skin

The icy blade

Slowly I make a cut

Blood tinkles at the edges

 

Eyes full of rage

I make another cut

Knowing nothing will make it end

 

Head spins

And arm bleeds

 

The lock on the door radles

I panic in fear

They cant know!!

 

In fear

Jabs knife into gut

I lay there limp

The door opens

 

He is standing there

Tears in his eyes

He lifts me

And calls 911

 

The ambulance comes

And takes me away

 

He is there again

At my side

I look at him

 

All he said was “how stupid are u??”

And got up

He had tears in his eyes

 

Pondering that 4 a while

It was stupid

A cut wont help

Wont fix the pain

Or help the rage

 

He came back with  a smile

I apologized

He kissed me warmly

 

            I closed my eyes

And fell a sleep

The next day

Everything was well

I didn’t want to cut

And never would

 

(c) May 24, 2010 6:21pm

~Silver Starr (S.S)

Author's Note

So i wrote this when i was really hurting. I don't need you to judge me as a person please. :]

Reviews

[José Humilde]

Great poem. I can feel what the voice is going through.

My favorite part is about your head spinning and your arm bleeding.

I think to make this poem stronger, you need to get rid of all the "text chat." I know, it's a bad habit, I'm definitely guilty of it myself. It can be a distracting thing, and you don't want something like that distracting people away from the meaning of this poem.

If you really wanted to make a poem like that, with text chat, that would be an interesting tangent though. Having a text conversation with somebody while you do it. Just an idea.

Another thing that I found kind of distracting was the parts when you kind of went third person.

In fear
Jabs knife into gut

Again, something like that I feel takes away from your poem.

Thanks for your piece!

-JH

[sammyj]

wow, wow, umm wow. That was incredible. wow. wow ( saying it backwards) wow.

[José Humilde]

All he said was “how stupid are u??”

Pondering that 4 a while

These lines are the ones I was talking about "text chatting."

Of course, it's your poem, I was just wondering if they served a purpose, you keeping it like that.

Any other questions, send me a message. By chance, I came back to your poem! I don't get to see if you comment back.

Thanks!

-JH

[BrianKnows]

No judging. I think the writing is a great way to process all that emotion. It really comes out on the page.

[Silver Starr]

J.H. What do you mean exactly about the text chat like when he says "How stupid are you?" is that what you mean?

Also i guess i never noticed i jumpped into 3rd person thanks for pointing that out though

[Silver Starr]

Oh snap! I didnt catch that Dutch Jr. Was right i meant Warmly but you aint gonna realize that if someone else reads it XD 'cause i'm going to re-write it.

Also :] thanks for the 'reviews' peoples ^^

[Dutch Jr.]

I'm definitely not going to judge you. How can I? EVERYBODY goes through their share of pain, and I could clearly read yours through this poem. I actually respect you more as a person, for having the courage and being able to openly write about such a depressing time of your life. You're pretty talented, too. A great write.

"He kissed me wormly", I think "wormly" was a typo. You probably meant to say "warmly" here. lol.