Whip Lash (Chapter 1)

Lauren Craymel just your average girl really her mom is a complete drunk bringing home a new guy everyday. Getting high as often as Lauren can to forget about her crazy mom. then her best friend...

Prologue:

 

Something about looking down at my reflection, not recognizing whom it was. Dark hair covered my face; the dress I wore covered everything else. Eyes blinked together. A single tear fell rippling into the lake crackling the reflection that looked up at me. Even more unrecognizable.

 

The look of water was inviting. Crisp fall air had me thriving for the water. Stepping forward slightest closer to the water’s edge. Beauty the water was dark as the sky. Moving another foot closer to the edge. Lifting a right foot above the water Closing eyes to drop down into it. Ending everything: the dreams…the nightmares…it would all end.

 

Before falling into the water an arm grabbed my waist “I won’t let you Lauren” his voice honey sweet.

 

Chapter One:

 

1/1/2004

Dear Diary,

       This is the start of a new year…supposed to mean anything to me? Well it doesn’t. Means s**t to me actually. Going back to school soon that is one thing I’m looking forward to so sick of seeing all these men walking IN and OUT, like this is some kind of f*****g grocery store.

       On the plus side my mother didn’t see me much. Spent most of her time ether in her room or drunk as a gourd for the rest of the time. Christmas was great she spent it drunk on eggnog. I spent it in my room staring at the wall. Paint was starting to peal in the left corner of my room the green was starting to show white (ick).

       The most negative thing is I wasn’t able to sneak to the skate park we had like 2 inches of ice on the ground. That’s not ‘going-to-skate-park’ kind of weather now is it? Couldn’t get high. Couldn’t forget. So I had to stay here and deal with my mother and her four thousand boy friends.

Xoxo,

Lauren Craymel

 

 

One finger, only one, trailed the smooth glass mirror. Acknowledging the fact the sad girl in a pair of Levi jeans was truly…I. A breath of air before hand fell against side.

 

Turning head to the interrupted light when a person passed by the doorframe. A while back there had been a door there. My mom had her boy friend"Chuck at the time"take it down when I was only 12? Apparently I had reached my rebellious stage. Probably did. Was that when my father died?

 

Pressing her lips to her friend Jack Daniels was my mom. The women that 16 years ago gave birth to me, I should owe her some gratitude. Ever since my father died, even before his last heart beat my mother started drinking. Was just a shot here and there slowly it became more. I think it was when I was 11, about to turn 12 when my mother was passed out on the kitchen table. The next day my father died.

 

From that day on more men have walked out of my house. Enough to cause me to get in fights that left scars. Fights that were genuinely my mothers fault for whoring around.

 

A second shadow broke the light up, probably some loser my mother was dating. Sure enough only but minutes later I heard my mom giggling. The taste of bile rose up my throat at the thought of what I knew they would be doing.

 

Not really sure WHY I was standing here. What else was there to do? I know the answer to that question before I even asked it I would end up at the skate park. Probably hit up one of the stoners for a joint, be on air and forget about everything that was going on for a moment before I came back home.

 

Did I want to start my new year of like that? Half baked? A kind of good way to celebrate I suppose but was it the way I was ready to celebrate? Still thinking when I pulled my black sweatshirt big enough it covered my butt and almost the back of my knees. My ex-boyfriend Andy left it here a while back. Pulling up the edge to check, yup it still smelled of him. Not sure really what he smelled like just that it was…musky but not overbearing…it was home the only home I knew.

 

Heading towards the door, one foot in front of the other. I could hear from the room above bedsprings being pushed to the limit. Cringing when I heard the forever sound that bore into your soul your mother moaning.

 

Dropping down each step of the staircase slowly. Pace started to quicken at the thought of being able to possibly enjoy this New Year. Possibly forget about everything and possibly get stoned.

 

Pulling a pair of headphones out of my pocket that connected to my iPod. One bud in each ear blasting songs about suicide through my ears. Every heart-pounding beat had my heart pounding with it. Blood rushing like I had been running. Slowly feet raised in a quicker pattern running out the door. Got bit in the face by icy air. Sliding forward before catching grip on a patch of sand someone must have thrown on the ground. Breathing deeply in cold air. Taking staggering steps not really wanting to break something.

 

Then again breaking something might force my mother to sober up for a minute when she came to the hospital. No, more then likely she would never find out that I was in the hospital in the first place. What kind of mom does that? Forgets about her own kid.

 

Leaning against the fence of the skate park once I had gotten there. It was quiet, the sound of driving cars and a light breeze of air was the only things that I could hear. Scanning everything trying to spot someone that was at the skate park but it was empty. Luck had again failed me. Hopes fell at getting high now just the hopes of being able to see at least one person I could see.

 

“LAUREN!” a voice yelled echoing through my ears. Glancing over my shoulder to see a guy slipping and sliding. Several times did I see him almost bite it when he finally got to where I was “the hell are you doing out here?” he asked. Back leaning against the fence that she was so that he could look at her.

 

Glancing at him with headphones still in my ear his voice was a low hum really so I really didn’t care enough about what he said. In no way did I even answer him but just blinked a few times. As if I was trying to process who he was.

 

Watching his hand as it brushed my face before it yanked my headphones out of ears “The hell are you okay?” he asked maybe he had seen it on my face or maybe he was just a psycho going around pulling peoples headphones out especially people like me who would love to bash his face in for doing so.

 

That was Gabriel though always having a tone to him that he was the boss. HE kind of was out of our group he was the one whose parents had the money. The reason he was also my favorite dealer, always had the best weed. Got high quicker then anything on that stuff. That was the only thing. Gabriel was like her older brother. Through all the s**t with her mom he seemed to actually care the others were just there. Yea they were all great friends but he was… different.

 

“No…” I said I felt the tears forming and I felt the anger bleeding into my heart at the thought of me actually crying with him there. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s for sure.  More times then not had he seen me cry. Though this time she had really nothing to cry of. Nothing was new. Nothing was different. It was all the same, I should be used to it by now.

 

Moving forward warm arms wrapped around my waste holding me like a father holds a small child almost.

 

Didn’t notice much that I was crying till I felt the damp cold from the tears in his jacket. “Shhh…” he continued to whisper in my ear rubbing my back like I was a little kid. Almost completely feeling like a little kid.

 

Breathing hard, sobs turned into low gasps. Throat felt tight from crying. “I want to move out “she said her body stepping out of Gabriel’s arms so that she was looking at him more completely but wanted to stay in his arms. To keep her self from bawling in tears.

 

Silently his eye got wide at what he was hearing. I wish that I could read his mind sometimes. The expression on his face had me worried.

 

“Lauren…your only 16…”he trailed off in thought “…your home is crazy…but it’s the best place” he said.

 

I knew that it wasn’t like the thought hadn’t ever been in my head. I mean if I chose to decide to leave I would end up in a shelter some crazy drop out. That’s why I didn’t move out 16, no job, no money, no means of a living.

 

“YOUR SO F*****G POSITIVE!” I yelled my anger was the only emotion I could find beside pain and I didn’t want to cry anymore. Showing the tears was a sign of un wanted weakness. A sign that she was falling a part. A sign she didn’t wish to bear on her sleeve anymore then she nessiccarily already was. 

 

Taken aback by that even wincing like I had struck him. Like I felt like wanting to “You need to go home Lauren” he said his voice drying of emotion.

 

Always surprised me of how fast he was able to do that one-minute he was as deep as marinas trench. Seconds later he could have feelings as shallow as a kiddy pool and as dry as Death Valley.

 

“YOU NEED TO QUIT WITH THE BIPOLAR EMOTIONS! YOUR GOING TO GIVE ME WHIP LASH I WEAR!” I yelled shoving him. Watching him stagger to stay upon his feet and not hit the ice covered ground.

 

I saw the hurt come back to his face. I saw the anger dance across his eyes. Most of all I saw him shake his head “You need help” was all he said when he turned and left me standing there in astonishment.

 

How the hell did he walk so well in the ice? I almost broke my a*s out there and he walks all debonair.

 

Breathing in a ice cold breath. Gripping the fence hard to keep my self from bashing my brain in.

 

Re-placing the headphones in my ears to go back home might as well. My supply had just run dry as dirt.  

 

(c) May 23, 2010 S.S

Author's Note

Its not finished yet. Also i would like any opnions and critique' ya'll are willing to give.

Reviews

[Dutch Jr.]

Well written. I like this, and will continue reading. Pease, keep writing.

[Yonnie]

I can't wait til you write more. This is really good.

[James Johnson]

Man, this is good :D i cant wait to read more