This was a great write it flows well and the rhyme scheme it nice. I enjoyed reading it, unlike some poems about seduction etc. this one had speed to it, it didn't drag so it made you want to read it even more. If you're into vampires you should check out my poem "Love Letter To A Vampire" but honestly I think your poem is better. Good job! Keep it up! Oh and as far as learning and getting better all it takes it practice, and reading other poetry helps as well, so write until you feel like your hand is going to fall off. I look forward to reading more of your writing. :)
Wow this was incredible! Really amazing how you described the intensity and desire without giving too much information. I like the flow as it had a rush attached to it. Keep on writing and sharing!!!!!
This is really nice, very erotic and sensual. I think you did a wonderful job capturing the desire a person who wants to be bitten can feel when they finally are experiencing what they wanted to terribly bad. Excellent job.
This is very good. My only suggestions would be to possibly tweak it a little to fit for pure, human attraction AND vampire. I think it would attract a wider range of people. Yet, again, very well written. I enjoyed reading this.
Nice write. I love the sense of expectation, yearning...the wanting of the taboo and forbidden. It first comes across as light, but upon the second read, you can see that it's much deeper. I like this very much.
This was a very well written piece and it was very fluid. This reminds me of the book series 'Dark-Hunters'. It's a very good series and I feel this would tie in somewhere with the overall storyline of those books. Great job, I'm looking forward to reading more.
I'm new to writing. I will make many mistakes along the way. I welcome all comments. I have a passion for Vampires, Werewolves and fantasy stories. I don't write poetry often..but when I get stuck, I .. more..