A Vampire's Bite

Some non-vampires often desire to be bitten. This is written from their point of view.

  A Vampire's Bite

 

I sit silently waiting

And wanting your touch

Across the room gazing

I need you so much

Inside me your goal

Will find such power

Releasing my soul

My blood you devour

Sinking deeper you go

Your fangs blood red

Draining me so

Too much to be said

I tense up with fear

Knowing the pleasure

The feeling so near

I will always treasure

My fate you will seal

As you hold me so tight

Your strength I will feel

From your violent Bite! 

Author's Note

Thank you for all your comments. I'm still learning and hope to get better the more I write. Please let me know what you think...

Reviews

[JenLyn]

This was a great write it flows well and the rhyme scheme it nice. I enjoyed reading it, unlike some poems about seduction etc. this one had speed to it, it didn't drag so it made you want to read it even more. If you're into vampires you should check out my poem "Love Letter To A Vampire" but honestly I think your poem is better. Good job! Keep it up! Oh and as far as learning and getting better all it takes it practice, and reading other poetry helps as well, so write until you feel like your hand is going to fall off. I look forward to reading more of your writing. :)

[Lorraine]

You write with such unique point of view. I honestly think its twisted to want to get bitten when you know it'll drain you, but it seems that that way, you've achieved the dark and rather sensational approach. The short line cuts tell so much with a few words as each line compel the readers to move on.

Keep Writing. ^____^

[Joanna Maharis]

This is awesome. I find this piece to be intriguing. Impressive. Some beautiful work here.

[Theresa]

Nicely written with great flow. The imagery you create makes me feel as if I'm there watching all of this take place. Nicely done.

[salvador (camuel choisu..]

It is a great write nice work

[DeadToTheWorld]

i rlly enjoyed this =) it was one of the greatest poems i have read in a while it has a vision to it one i quite enjoyed myself ^^ your a rlly good writer maybe one day you will end up in something great =)

[Mary]

fearful wanting, I like it.

[Gheeneil]

To crave for a vamp's bite and celebrate his/her fate is not that strange any longer since the Twilight hit theatres. This has been a phenomenon. Also, I liked the abab rhyme scheme. Keep writing.

[R.S. Wilder]

A very good write - it flows well, and don't be too shy with the pen. Let it flow - from this poem, you'd do better yet.

[deadly healer]

at first i was really drawn to the piece. it flowed very well throughout the rest of the poem and is overall well written. nice job.

[Emily]

This is a good piece. I rather liked the dream piece a little more. I find the constant rhyme scheme something you'll break from as you write more. No lie, we all start with rhymes, because that is the way that things flow in our heads. You will see, as yo uwrite more, that you do not need to have a rhyme scheme, just a flow to the piece which grabs your reader because of the emotions and the words you choose. You are a good writer with a lot of good ideas. I look forward to reading more of your work.