The Process of Being Hurt

 

The Process of Being Hurt

Being hurt is never fun. It seems like all your life you are being hurt and you are right. The thing is we never really stop getting hurt. That is why being hurt is a process; though while we are always being hurt it is not necessarily constant. This section is just a taste of the different ways people can hurt you; it also shows how you tend to even hurt yourself unknowingly.

Already Drowning

My tears are like the rain

They keep on falling

I just lay there

Drowning in my tears

The dam I built to hold them back has broken

Nothing is left to hold them back

I have no one but me to dry them

I am on my own

I just have to drown alone

I do not know if I will survive

But I have no choice

My depression has already dragged me under

And I am drowning

A Slow Death

My emotions are draining out.

My hope is fading.

My strength is ebbing away.

My heart is sinking low.

My mind is floating off.

My body falters.

My pain grows.

My sanity grows foggier.

My depression grows deeper.

This is my life.

It is a slow death.

 

Being Forced to Let Go

How can you let go of someone that knows so much about you?

Someone that knows so much that when you lose them it’s like your life has been taken away from you.

Someone that has been there for you since day one when you first met them.

Someone that knows every deep dark secret you have.

Someone who you know is honest and trustworthy.

Someone that held you tight and made everything better again.

Someone that loves you as much as you love them.

Someone that makes you whole when you are falling apart.

Yet here I am being forced to do just that.

Forced to let go of the one who has done all of that and more.

To have him say he loves me and just can’t be with me is like being tossed into a personal living hell.

I understand his reasons yet at the same time my head can’t make sense of it.

I don’t want to let go.

But I have to.

And for once I can no longer tell him everything I wish to.

I can’t say I love him and want him.

I can’t snuggle up to him and be held in his arms.

It’s like death itself is awaiting me.

He knew everything there was to know about me.

Now losing him is like losing a part of my life.

I am being forced to let go.

 

The Dark Corner

Forgotten as always.

Always pushed into the corner.

The darkest corner.

The corner of everyone’s mind.

Mind they pay me no attention.

Attention is what I seek from them.

They who ignore me depress me.

The depression that often gets deeper.

Deeper as time goes on.

Forgotten as always.

Always pushed into a corner.

 

Falling Apart

I can barely hold back the tears

The pain rips through my chest

I cannot bare this anymore

I need help

Before I completely break

I am already cracking

Soon I will fall apart

Or am I already falling apart?

 

 

It’s Killing Me

I want to tell you I love you.

I want to tell you I need you.

I want to tell you I do.

I want to call you my husband.

I want to give myself to you and only you.

I want to be your everything.

I know you are moving on.

I know you are going to be with another.

I know you will marry someone else.

I know I will be no more than a memory.

And I know you will never again say you love me.

I can’t tell you what I want to.

Just like I cannot deny these things.

Though just to be honest with you,

As I always have been,

Because I love you,

All of these things,

Well,

It’s killing me.

 

Off-Balance

Tears fall,

As I read his words.

I try to hold back the waterfall.

The glass floor breaks into shards.

I am plummeting down.

My hands only grasp air.

People are laughing, as though I’m a clown.

My eyes search in despair.

I want to see you.

To catch a glance,

But this is nothing new.

Everything is off-balance.

 

Rip My Heart Out

I’ve been there since day one when I met you.

I have kept your every secret like you kept mine.

I did things for you no one else would.

I have always done my best to help you.

Not once have I ever hated you.

I gave you love.

I understood when no one else did.

I listened when you didn’t trust anyone else.

 

So why don’t you just rip my heart out?

Go on and take it I don’t need it.

You have destroyed what was left.

 

She is taking you down and me along with.

You said you loved me and now you don’t care if I die.

You lose her and then suddenly I don’t matter.

Did I ever matter?

I don’t know if I did anymore.

 

 

So why don’t you just rip my heart out?

Go on and take it I don’t need it.

You destroyed what was left of it.

 

You made me promises.

You poured out your love to me.

You gave me fantasies and hopes of what might be.

All these things you gave to me within a little over a year.

Now you’re destroying it in the matter of only a few hours.

 

So why don’t you just rip my heart out?

Go on and take it I don’t need it.

You destroyed what was left of it. 

 

Scared

I look at him wondering

What is on his mind?

Am I doing something wrong?

Does he really care?

Should I worry?

Should I distance myself?

Should I build walls around my heart?

Should I go ahead and let my tears fall?

I do not want to let go

At least not yet

Not before I can close my heart off

Not before I can block out the pain

I do not want to hurt again

I am already weak

Weak

And scared

 

Storm Rolling In

I feel that black cloud hovering over my head

Threatening to drown me

To let all of my sorrows overwhelm me

I thought all this was finally done

Now it has pounced me again

Turning the sea violent,

To drag me under the ocean of tears

Killing me slowly

Why has it brought me back here?

I hate this horrid place

It is dark and lonely

Someone

Anyone

Come save me

 

Suicidal

My mood is dark

It never seems to brighten

No matter how hard I try

At points it has me wanting to die

It is so suffocating to be like this

I am scared of the pain

But I am getting braver

What if pain stops scaring me?

What if my fears leave me?

Then I will finally have the strength

The strength I need to end it all

 

They Will See

The all will see…

…My health deteriorating

…My moods swiftly changing extremes

…My appetite diminishing

…The darkening circles under my eyes

…The restlessness in my mind and body

…The emotions draining from me

…The hope fading

…My need to keep busy

…They will see I need help