Drowning

A poem about those people that put you down and basically emotionally drown you.

You send a surge of electricity into me while I am swimming freely

You try to shove me below the surface

Deeper than my mind can take

And inside my mind is dead

While my body is intact

Deep below the surface

I am drowning.

Reviews

[Anna Kay]

okay when it says "You shock me while I am swimming freely" i sorta got lost because it seems like it should be at the first of the poem. besides that i really like it it flows well and i could use a lil bit of improvement..:) i really like it im really not trying to bring you down im just trying to help.
-Anna Kay Patton

[Carmen Garcia]

dude, this is amazing.! keep it up.!

[Jayden Hawke]

yay
first poem!

[Kaelyn Shea]

amazing ness

[Kaelyn Shea]

whoah! i didnt know you could write so well! great job bud! keep em coming!