TheGirl In The Attic

Chapter 1 More Emotions Unfold

The Girl in the Attic: Chapter 1

 

                It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining and the breeze was blowing. Just the kind of day I love. Everything was perfect, at that moment, in my room. I felt happy and safe but only for awhile. It’s just another day for school. Everything was just normal but that quickly changed when I opened my bedroom door and that’s when fear, hopelessness and pain entered my soul once again.

 

                It was the shrill screaming of my sister that brought me back to reality, the sound of beating and shouting drum loudly in my ears. It was too loud for me to bear. I wish I could go up there to protect her but it’s no use. Dad wouldn’t allow me. He was the only one that was allowed to go up there. The only one allowed seeing her.  He’s torturing her. I stood at the top of the stairs listening to my sister, crying and screaming.

 

                I quietly walk down the stairs and enter the kitchen to see my mother crying over the sink. I quickly went towards her and hug her. She hugged me back as tears ran down my cheeks. We hugged for awhile without even saying a word a moment like the words were not allowed to escape our lips. Because it was another moment where dad hurt something precious to us and there was nothing we could do. My brother was gone by six this morning, so that dad wouldn’t catch him. We all ran away from dad. It was never like this before. Everything changed when Biannca came into this world.

 

                After a moment of tears, my mother picked up a bag and handed it to me. I looked in the bag to see my breakfast and lunch. Since dad has changed mom doesn’t let me stay and eat breakfast just to avoid my father’s quarrels and beatings.  I didn’t like it. I wanted us to be one again, to sit and eat and talk like a family. I kiss my mom’s wet cheeks and told her goodbye and ran out before dad come and see me.

 

                I arrived at school pretty early so I decided to go to my best friend, Amiria’s, house until school started. I walked up to the door and knocked. Amiria’s cousin let me in. “Good morning Lucen” I said “Morning, she’s in her room” he said “OK thank you” I said. I ran upstairs to her room.

 

                “Knock, Knock can I come in” I said

 

                “Yea, Gianna” she said as she pulls her into a hug.

 

                “Hi” I said sadly

 

                “What happened now sweetheart?” she said

 

                “You really got the nerve to ask me” I said sitting on her bed as I place my lunch bag beside me. “Dad was raping Biannca when I left and mom broke down in the kitchen” I said crying “Oh god! Please don’t say anything more” she said hugging me

 

 

 

                Amiria and I arrive at school in no time. Amiria only lives a few houses away from the school. As we enter the school James ran up to us. “Hello My sweethearts” he said placing his arms on our shoulders. “Hey” we both said at the same time.

 

                “So, can you tell me how my princess is doing?” he said coming in front of them. James was in love with Brianna from the moment he saw her upstairs in my room, cleaning the windows. He asked about her every day. By the look on my face he could tell that it was bad news.

 

                “Aright don’t say it” he said coming beside us as we walk into our class.  My mind was back at home thinking about my sister, hurt and bruised, cold and hungry.

 

 ~VOTE & COMMENT~ IT WILL bE CONTINUE ON NEXT UPLOAD~SOOn~VOTE & COMMENT

 

Reviews

[Mark]

I felt bad for the family, and want to know more. It's a great start, but there are some grammatical errors that need fixing before it can truly be called a good work of writing!

[Blacke Hennessey]

Besides the grammatical errors, it's refreshing to read something that's different

[Ink Angel]

Kept my attention the whole way through, this is an amazing piece.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I like the pace and the thoughts in the chapter. I like the interaction and situations in this chapter. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote

[Tomislav Petricevic]

The story is very good so far, however, I must point a few things out, if you don't mind.
You're missing a few commas every now and then, especially in dialogue with those "he said" things. That's not something I mind, but I though I'd just tell you that.
And sorry, but the way both Amiria and James told "don't say it" makes it feel a bit unrealistic. I mean, both of them know what's going on, but they just don't want to hear about it. They don't want to do anything. But I have a hunch that James will try to do something.
Oh, and I don't know if I'm just stupid, but to me it seems you made a minor mistake when you wrote that James is in love with Brianna. Shouldn't it be Biannca? But perhaps I'm missing something.
Anyways, I like your story, and I'm looking forward to reading more. You just keep writing! :D

[Diwakar - "The Warrior ..]

We hugged for awhile without even saying a word a moment like the words were not allowed to escape our lips...........................Beautiful lines to express something............I like the theme around this story....love to read more :-)

[Lulu]

Standing ovation...