Not Quite Sure

I don't want to look at you and see the words that spill from my mind, 

Coming together piece be piece, word by word, 

With every smile and connection of eyes, 

Coming together like the pages of a well-written book. 

So please do not look at me like that, 

As if I hold the secrets to the universe in my bruised palms. 

Do not speak to me as if you understand every word I say, 

Until you've discovered all my scars and unearthed the stories behind them. 

Please don't waste your time spending it with me until you know I'm worth it. 

Because I have battled with myself everyday and I can tell you that I'm not. 

I'm so frightened by you, by the effect you have on me. 

When I look into your eyes, it is as if all I am is laid bare before you, 

And you don't even blink. 

You don't turn away from my lack of beauty, 

From the searing rawness I so painfully possess. 

You simply look into my eyes, 

And take from me the liquid sorrow that escapes them. 

I do not understand it. 

I can not fathom what you might see in me. 

In all of everything, Please know that I am sorry. 

I know that I will never deserve you, 

Not in a million lifetimes, not in a million leap-years. 

I am stitched together with a song unsung.

Yet you hold me gently and hum my lyricless pain.